It’s customary to wash one’s hands after attending a funeral or visiting a cemetery. Some say that this relates to the washing after the Eglah Arufah and that it is a proclamation that we (the living) aren’t at fault in the death of the person just buried or whom we visited.
Water, Grass and Earth
The custom in the place of the Ramban was to wipe one’s hands on the soil and to uproot some grass after the Kaddish that follows a funeral in addition to washing one’s hands (as mentioned above). This custom is mentioned in the Code of Jewish Law except that instead of wiping one’s hands on the soil, it is recommended to uproot some soil as well as grass. It is noteworthy that the Lubavitcher Rebbe would do this after visiting the cemetery even if it wasn’t for a funeral.
The Ramban offers two reasons for this custom.
Represents the Human Life Cycle
The water represents the fact that we were created from water (i.e., seed), the earth represents the fact that we will all return to the dust and the grass represents the resurrection when we will shoot forth from the ground like the grass of the field.
Alludes to the Manner of Purification
The earth, grass and water allude to the method of purification from impurity of the dead (with which one was contaminated by attending the funeral). The earth represents the ashes of the Red Heifer, the grass represents the hyssop and cedar that was burnt together with the heifer while the water represents the spring water to which the ashes were added and were then sprinkled on those who needed to be purified.
Sitting Seven Times
Some have a custom of sitting down seven times when on the way back from a funeral. (The Rama writes that the Ashekenazi custom is to sit three times and to say Viyhi No’am and Yoshev BaSeter on each of these stops.) These correspond to the seven vanities of this world that are mentioned in Ecclesiastes (1:2). When one leaves the cemetery (after a funeral) the evil spirits cling to him. At each stop that one makes, some of those spirits depart. (By thinking about the fact that [most of] this world is part of the seven vanities and thus focusing on living a more spiritual life, we’re freed from evil spirits and judgments.) Some say that this is the meaning of the Talmudic custom of “Seven Ma’amadot.”
The Sefardim do not follow this custom.
