QUESTION
What should one do if an older child doesn’t speak nicely at times and continues even when told not to?
ANSWER
It depends. You shouldn't wait too long. Don't wait until he's a big boy and you can't hit him anymore. A little child must be taught to speak nicely. So first, as I said before, give him a caress with your hand and say, “Chaim'l, you're a nice boy. If you'll speak these nice words then Hashem will like you and everybody will like you.” Say it again and again. Little by little it enters his little head.
Sometimes however you can tell him like this, “Chaim, I must give you three petch but because you're a nice boy I'll give you only two petch.” And give him two good petch. And he knows it's al pi din. He won't be angry at you. He knows it's justice. After all, he was supposed to get three. So use diplomacy.
Sometimes you must hit. Forget about the meshugas in the world, abuse of children. If you don't hit a child when he needs it, you're abusing the child. March 11, 1999
Sign up and get a new Q&A every day for free:
[email protected]
