Many chassanim in shonah rishonah [first year of marriage] like to say that they are exempt from sleeping in the succah. Is there anything behind such a claim? Is it perhaps lacking in תשבו בעין תדורו – “living in the succah like one does in the house”, as a chosan in the first year of marriage wouldn’t leave his wife home alone?
The Rema (639:2) writes: “That which people are lenient with not sleeping in the succah, except for scrupulous individuals, is because:איש ואשתו כדרך שהוא דר כל השנה, ובמקום שלא יוכל לישון עם אשתו שאין לו סוכה מיוחדת, פטור – “husband and wife live together like all year round, and in a place where it’s not suitable for a man to live with his wife, as there is no private succah, one is exempt.”
However, the Mishnah Berurah (s.k. 18) cites the Gaon and Magen Avraham who argue and say that this is not enough of a heter. However, perhaps in shonah rishonah there is room to be lenient and rely on the Rema.
Seemingly, we can bring proof that there is no such exemption from a Gemara in Succah (25b). The Gemara says: “A chosan and his guests are exempt from succah during the week of sheva berachos”. If there would be an exemption from succah the entire shonah rishonah, surely the Gemara would mention something.
The Divrei Yatziv (Shu”t, Orach Chaim 274) rules, however, that there is room to be lenient. He explains, there is a mitzvah for a husband to make his wife happy during shonah rishonah, therefore, one is ‘oisek bemitzvah potur min hamitzvah’ [busy with one mitzvah, and therefore exempt from carrying out another one].
He adds: It’s clear from the Taz (639:9) and Shulchan Aruch HaRav (9) that the reason many people sleep outside the succah is because they are busy with the mitzvah of making their wives happy and ‘oisek bemitzvah potur min hamitzvah’. The Nishmas Adam (Klal 147:1) asks on the above, that surely the mitzvah of ושמח – “to make (the wife) happy” only applies during shonah rishonah, so what basis is there to exempt those who are no longer in shonah rishonah from the mitzvah of succah. The Nishmas Adam has a good question on those not in shonah rishonah, however, for those in shona rishonah it would seem that he agrees with the argument of ‘oisek bemitzvah potur min hamitzvah’. Therefore, this, together with the Rema who is always lenient, it seems that those in shonah rishonah have what to rely on.
The Divrei Yatziv adds, that we can’t obligate a wife to sleep in the succah, see inside for a number of reasons.
Although the Divrei Yatziv is melamed zechus [gives merit], he points out, that the Shulchan Aruch makes no mention of there being an obligation of ושמח – “to make (the wife) happy” during shonah rishonah, or that a chosan is exempt from sleeping in the succah during shonah rishonah.
The Chazon Ish (Shevi’is, siman 7) writes: If poskim keep quiet when it comes to a halachah which is very common, it would seem that they don’t hold of it. The question of a chosan sleeping in the succah during shonah rishonah is very common, yet, the Shulchan Aruch doesn’t mention any exemption, therefore, it would seem that he holds that there isn’t one.
Mishnas Yosef
The Shu”t Mishnas Yosef (10:106) asks: Why should the mitzvah of ושמח override the mitzvah of succah, perhaps the mitzvah of succah should override the mitzvah of ושמח?
He then cites Achronim who say that if one is busy with a mitzvas aseh between him and Hashem it doesn’t exempt him from a mitzvas aseh which is between man and his friend (see Shu”t Mishnas Yosef Vol. 7 end of siman 12). Therefore, the aseh of ושמח would come first. However, the Mishnas Yosef then says, that this leniency isn’t taken on practically.
R’ Shlomah Zalman Auerbach (Halichos Shlomah, Perek 9, He’orah 140) writes that he never heard any room to be lenient for a chosan not to sleep in the succah during shonah rishonah. It’s also brought down (Yismach Lev Vol. 1, page 261) that R’ Chaim Kanievsky zt”l would say: “Those that are lenient when it comes to sleeping in the succah during shonah rishonah, are acting incorrectly.”
However, it’s important to note that R’ Chaim Pinchos Scheinberg zt”l would say, that if one’s wife is very particular about her husband sleeping with her inside the house during shonah rishonah then he is exempt from sleeping in the succah due to principle of mitzta’er. If, however, he sees that it doesn’t bother his wife, then he is obligated to sleep in the succah.
