Part III. Practicing Humility

When you sit in the sukkah, immediately the first result should be you're nichna, you're humbled before Hashem. It's very important to keep that in mind when you come into the sukkah. At least for seven days, to go through the motions, to practice this ideal of לְהִשְׁתַּחֲווֹת לַה' to make yourself low before Hashem.

Raising the Bar

Now, we'll take it one step further. How do you work on this avodah of humility in the sukkah? So we said that when you come into the sukkah, immediately try to remind yourself of this purpose: “I'm here now because I want to practice being nichna, humbled before Hashem.” It's a good idea to keep that in mind anytime you walk into the sukkah. Even if you do it a little bit you're successful because you're superior to anybody else.

But let's climb the ladder of anivus to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, another rung. Here, you're sitting in the sukkah and everyone is talking. Wonderful! It's simchas Yom Tov. But you have to remember what the sefarim say, that you have to be careful what you say in the sukkah (Mishnah Berurah 639:2). You can't fool around. You can't make jokes. The sukkah is no place for leitzanus. A moshav leitzim in the sukkah is entirely contradictory to the purpose.

Superfluous Speech

Of course, תֵּשְׁבוּ בְּעֵין תָּדוּרוּ – You have to live normally in the sukkah (Sukkah 26a). But you have to be careful, too. A makom kadosh like a sukkah requires more vigilance; you can't talk leitzanus, lashon hara, in such a place.

But it's an interesting thing the sefarim say that even superfluous words you shouldn't speak in the sukkah (see Mateh Efraim 625:65). A remarkable idea; it's a good practice to be careful not to say unnecessary words in the sukkah. And it pays to understand why that's so.

Healthy for Body and Soul

Now, we have to know that there are various benefits of silence. One is that you'll sin less – כָּל הַמַּרְבֶּה בִּדְבָרִים מֵבִיא חֵטְא (Avos 1:17). If you have any kind of long conversation, you're certain to do some sin in order to continue the run of the conversation. You'll look for other things to say, and you'll bring in names of people and you'll find some faults in them. Or you might say some leitzanus against something that's kodesh. That's how it is in the course of time; בְּרֹב דְּבָרִים לֹא יֶחְדַּל פָּשַׁע – in a multitude of words you cannot avoid a sin (Mishlei 10:19). Even a person who is a lamdan who studied the Chofetz Chaim's sefarim will be nichshal if he talks at length. And those who didn't learn, no question about it. So that's enough of a reason to keep your mouth closed.

It's also healthier. לֹא מָצָאתִי לַגּוּף טוֹב מִשְׁתִיקָה – I found nothing better for your health than silence (Avos 1:17). There are a lot of things you can do to protect your health. Exercise is important. Proper sleep is important. Eating properly is important. But this Tanna examined them all and he found that silence is the best thing for your health.

By the way, people will like you more, too. Absolutely. People who don't speak much gain friends. It's a fact that quiet people are well-liked. I myself know a number of quiet people who are quite popular; people are happy to be in their company.

Displaying Your Insides

But there's something else in shtikah that is more than all of that: Silence is a sign of a humble person. And we'll explain that in two ways.

Number one: In Mishlei (18:2) it states, לֹא יַחְפּץ בְּסִיל בִּתְבוּנָה – a fool does not desire understanding, כִּי אִם בְּהִתְגַּלּוֹת לִבּוֹ – he desires to reveal his own mind. It means that the foolish fellow is not interested in listening. He wants to talk. Why does he want to talk? He has an instinct of turning himself inside-out to people, of displaying his emotions and demonstrating his thoughts.

Sometimes you watch a man sitting on a park bench; he's talking for hours. You might even envy him; he's a fountain of speech while you'd fall short of words. Or maybe you see people sitting in shul talking and talking from Mah Tovu until Aleinu. What do they have to talk about so much? Why is it that the k'sil is so interested in telling people so many things?

The answer is, he's talking about himself – what he saw, what he heard, what he thinks. It's the middah of egoism. He's interested in himself and he wants to show himself to others. Now, the truth is that often it doesn't compliment him too much when he starts taking off his clothes and displaying himself to other people. He empties out the contents of his mind and he doesn't realize that people ridicule him for that. But that's what his instinct is; his ego drives him to talk as much as he can.

And to a certain extent, it applies to everyone. It's an effort to be silent. You're fighting against this animal within you that wants to bark or meow or make noises, to show that it's there, to demonstrate anochi, that “I am here.” And therefore, when a man is able to keep his mouth closed, he is forcing that quality to be repressed.

The Silent Treatment

Especially if you have what to say. Let's say somebody talks to you about a certain subject which you know a good deal about, but you keep your mouth closed and listen to him; that's good practice. Share the limelight. Let other people chatter; you just listen. Nod your head, smile, be friendly, but keep your mouth closed. It's a tremendous training of character.

Here's a man, he likes to stop me on the street to tell me his vertlach, his pshetlach. So I'm quiet. I nod and listen. Now, actually I have a hundred times as much as he has to say, and better things – I listened to my rebbeim for years in Slabodka and they had very good things to say. But I keep quiet. I don't say anything of my own. I just listen. I'm practicing.

Silent Awareness

But there's something much more. Because you can add the thought: why am I quiet? You have to listen to what Shlomo Hamelech says in the beginning of Chapter 5 of Sefer Koheles, a very important function of keeping quiet:

אַל תְּבַהֵל עַל פִּיךְ – Do not be hasty with your mouth, וְלִבְּךָ אַל יְמַהֵר לְהוֹצִיא דְבָר – and your heart should not be in a hurry to utter a word, לִפְנֵי הָאֱלֹקִים – before Hashem. Whatever you say, you're saying in the Presence of Hashem. כִּי הָאֱלֹקִים בַּשָּׁמַיִם – Hashem is in Heaven, וְאַתָּה עַל הָאָרֶץ – you're down here on earth, you're standing in front of Him, עַל כֵּן יִהְיוּ דְבָרֶיךְ מְעַטִים – Therefore, your words should be few.

And so he's introducing to us a new motivation, why you should be quiet: because you're in the Presence of Hashem.

So now we begin to understand that silence is not merely a good quality that keeps you away from sin. It's not merely something that will keep you healthy and will cause you to be more appreciated by people. Silence makes you humble! Hashem is greater than you are! כִּי הָאלֹקִים בַּשָּׁמַיִם – Hashem is here above you. He's looking at you. Where do you get the authority to open your mouth in the Presence of the King? You need silence in order to be humble to Hakadosh Baruch Hu.

Silent Humility

And this is based on the principle of חָכָם אֵינוֹ מְדַבֵּר בִּפְנֵי מִי שֶׁגָּדוֹל מִמֶּנּוּ – a wise man does not speak in the presence of somebody bigger than him (Avos 5:7). Silence means that you know you are standing in the presence of someone.

Let's say Governor Cuomo would be visiting here. I wouldn't open my mouth. Now, Cuomo is a nobody. He's a shlemazel; a shlepper and a bum, a low character. But if he was here, I'd keep quiet. After all, Hashem gave him authority for the time being. Let's hope he'll lose the next election, but for the time being he's the governor and so a wise person keeps quiet in the presence of that tramp.

A normal person feels humility before someone in authority. Even when I visit a doctor, I have so much respect for him so I keep quiet. He knows so much in that field of which I know nothing at all. I'm humbly quiet. That's old-fashionality; that's how we were brought up. We're supposed to find it difficult to talk in the presence of someone bigger than us. It's only a fool, an idiot, who will prattle in the presence of מִי שֶׁגָּדוֹל מִמֶּנּוּ.

And therefore, Koheles is saying we can measure the extent of your humility to Hashem by the looseness of your mouth. If you actually felt you were standing in the Presence of Hashem, you couldn't talk that much. If you could open your mouth and talk freely, it's the clearest proof that your belief is only a superficial stereotype. It's not real.

Sukkah Silence

Now, this middah is something especially good to practice up in the sukkah. It's the little humble hut teaching you humility, that you're not the ezrach you imagined yourself to be. And so this is an excellent place to train yourself.

So imagine Cousin Jake comes over on Chol Hamoed to visit. “Aha!” you're thinking, “A chance to remind myself that I'm standing in the Presence of Hashem. I'll keep my mouth closed as much as possible."

He walks into the sukkah and starts talking, and you're very polite, of course. “How are you, Jake? Long time no see! How's the family?” Whatever it is, you say something – but then you stop because you're standing in front of Hashem. You might have to open your mouth here and there to say a word or two, but that's it. You smile pleasantly but you can't talk much when you're in the Presence of the Melech Malchei Hamelachim, Hakadosh Baruch Hu.

Of course, he shouldn't know. If he's here at the lecture, so practice on someone else. But whoever it is, it's a wonderful training in anavah; it's a very big achievement to practice humility in the sukkah.

Practice Makes Perfect

Now, actually you're not an anav yet. But just by keeping your mouth closed, you're influencing yourself toward the middah of anavah. That's a big principle in the Torah psychology which the Sages teach us. It's the famous principle: הַחִיצוֹנִיּוּת מְעוֹרֶרֶת אֶת הַפְּנִימִיּוֹת – your outwardliness stirs up your inwardliness (see Mesillas Yesharim, Ch. 7).

Each one of us aspires to gain more humility; we want to feel the Presence of Hashem more and more as the days and the years go by. And now Koheles tells us how to get it. The more you keep your mouth shut thinking that you're standing in the Presence of Hashem, the greater you become.

Try it once. There's a kick to it. It's like taking vitamins. Try and you'll see. I suggest doing it a few times a day in the sukkah. With chaveirim, your wife, your father-in-law, whoever. “I'm going to try to keep my mouth closed because I'm standing in front of Hashem. Even if I have to say something, I'll count my words.” Chop short your sentence.

That's an achievement. That's vitamins for your soul. It puts into you such an awareness that you're standing in the Presence of Somebody bigger. That's a good exercise. It's externality but הַחִיצוֹנִיּוּת מְעוֹרֶרֶת אֶת הַפְּנִימִיּוֹת. It will stir up in you such a wave of emunah.

That's how you learn humility. It's like bowing down to Hashem. In your mind, you're laid out flat, prostrated in front of Him.

The Secret of the Sukkah

And so it's something you can do always – if you do it all year long once a day you're a very wise person – but the sukkah, that's the place made for that. You're exposed to the sky, to Hashem; you're not such an ezrach when it's two walls and a tefach, and therefore don't waste the opportunity.

Here you built a sukkah already. It was a big job – maybe it was a big expense, too. But finally, the sukkah is standing. You even asked the rabbi to come down and inspect it and he gave his hechsher – everything is kasher v'yashar; the schach is sufficient, the walls were made to the din.

So maybe you think you can lean back and relax now. No, you can't relax. Now you have to get busy utilizing the sukkah to produce from yourself what the sukkah was built to produce.