I'm not giving you the rules. People are different, and Matzavim are different. Sometimes there's a concept of: ה ַל ַו ַאיַאוֹת ַיַע ַז ַבוּ “Just keep My Torah, etc.”, I can't tell you when and where. But don't feel guilty. There is a time when you say “Goodbye! This is compromising my Yiras Shamayim; don't give me no Torah”. My Rebbe told me this. He said: “Don't learn anything. I don't want to be exposed to the Gass (street)” (e.g., like if you can sense ladies while you're learning, better to keep away).
There is a Makom for it. But you have to know when and where. It's very, very important. You need an Adam Gadol Me'od who can Paskin for you. Someone who knows you and knows all the details, and knows what you're in for, since you may be playing with fire. You have to watch it. As far as what to do L’ma’aseh, I can't really say anything. But what I'm adding here, is, don't think it's the end of the world to give up learning. Sometimes you have to do it.
You have to understand the importance of Yiras Shamayim. I want to tell you something. R' Michael Munk was present at the Bar Mitzvah of one of my nephews. The boy said a big Pilpul. He was a big Tzadik, Dr. Munk. He just sat there, listening by the table. When the boy finished, he said: "You said a very nice piece of Towrah (that’s how he pronounced it). But just remember one thing. The Ikar is not Towrah. The Ikar is Yiras Shamayim. I watched him say that. (The Eibishter gave me to hear the things that are important to hear). Coming from him! He learned in Slabodka, by the way.
Do Ratzon Hashem; you'll come out ahead. Don't care what your friends are going to say. "But he has to be by Torah... and he has to learn Torah...” DON'T WORSHIP PEOPLE. WORSHIP HASHEM, AND FIFE PEOPLE!!!! And say: That’s right! You're the Ben Torah, and I'm... I'm Akeidas Yitzchok type!!! I'm Chana and her seven sons. I'm a different material. And don't look down at yourself. EVER. You do the right thing.
But you may need a lot of Chizuk. What Mandel just said now in 2 minutes, you may need to hear that type of stuff more often. Get the right friends; not narrow-minded friends who say: “Uh oh! He's not learning anymore!” “Oh no! You're off the Derech!” Why don't you take off your Yarmulka too?? “He's not learning!” Take off your Tzitzis, become a bum, he's not learning anyway! “Oy, it's like the story with Acher, he's off the Derech!”
It's not true. HE'S ON THE DERECH. Do you know how many people I know, who started thriving as soon as they stopped learning full time?? Now, easy with what I said just now, oh boy, you better be careful with that! For some people that's poison! Don't you dare listen to that! But some people have to hear it! Because it CAN be true!
Indeed, some people, as soon as they left learning, that was the end! But if you're learning Torah L'shem Shamayim, it's the beginning of all successes in the world. And you'll have such a family of Metzuyanim, of Knock'edike kids, and people will wonder, how did it happen? The husband didn't learn that many years in Kollel?? How come you got the best kids around? Because I gave up my husband's learning in order not to see the Treife internet. I give a Bracha that no matter what you do, you'll have Hatzlacha.
You can submit your questions to Rabbi Mandel by emailing them to [email protected]
