He writes that when scoffers and wicked people sit together, they start their conversation with frivolous, empty words and go on to degrade tzadikim, ultimately coming to say blasphemous things about Hashem and to deny the fundamentals of Yiddishkeit, and this is the cause of tzoraas. However, since every Jew possesses a pure inner spark where wickedness cannot enter, everyone has the ability to extricate himself from such gatherings and to not speak to such people. He says that one should make a reckoning for himself that connecting to Hashem is much more important than anything else and, in order to remain upright, he should have no connection to such people from now on.
Regarding the Rambam’s words, the students of the Baal Shem Tov zy”a cite the verse in Tehillim (73:9): “They have set their mouth against Heaven, and their tongue walks through the earth.” They explain that speaking against tzadikim in this world is, in actuality, apikorsus against Hashem Himself. Those who do this really want to speak against Him but they are ashamed to do so, so they direct their venom towards tzadikim instead. They really set their mouths against Heaven but they speak against tzadikim, with their true intent being to blaspheme.
Sins Cannot be Hidden From a Tzadik
Rav Yerachmiel Moshe of Kozhnitz zy”a related that Rav Osher Hagadol of Slonim zy”a was once speaking about the chasidim of his generations and he said about them: “Farmers are made of clay, Cossacks are made of straw, when they come to the Rebbe, they show the best in them, and they hide the bad. But I went to my holy Rebbe, Rav Shlomo of Karlin zy”a )and he kissed his fingers when he mentioned the name of his Rebbe(, I hid my good parts from him. What is he? A G-d? Can he give out reward and punishment? But I showed him the bad because one must show a kohen his nega.”
In this vein, Rav Moshe Midner zt”l related that Rav Chaika of Hamdora zy”a had a chasid named Shebsel. Whenever Shebsel would come to the Rebbe, he would first immerse in a mikvah and ask Hashem not to allow the Rebbe to know how he acted. Hashem accepted his prayers and his Rebbe thought that he was a tzadik and referred to him as “Reb Shebsel”, in an honorable way.
One day, he bumped into the Rebbe before he had a chance to go to the mikvah and Rav Chaika saw who he really was. He raised his voice and said, “Shebs’ke (without the honorary title of ‘Reb’). You can’t fool Hashem. You aren’t permitted to fool people. If one wants to fool others, the only one he is fooling is himself!”
It is also related that the Stoliner Rebbe zy”a would regularly travel to Rav Boruch of Mezhibozh zy”a. He once traveled with his student, Rav Shalom of Horodok zt”l and when the Stoliner Rebbe came out of the Rav Boruch’s room, he asked those standing around, “Where is R’ Shalom?”
Those standing there were puzzled by his question. R’ Shalom was standing right next to him but it seemed that he couldn’t see him. The Stoliner Rebbe explained, “When I come to the Rebbe and I show him my faults, my eyes are blackened and I can’t see anything.”
Negaim Come Because of Lashon Hara
The Gemara (Eruchin 15B) states: “Rav Yosi ben Zimra said: If one speaks lashon hara, he is struck with negaim, as is stated (Tehilim 101:5): ‘He who slanders his neighbor in secret, I cut him down.” It states further (ibid 16A) that Rav Shmuel bar Nachmeni said that negaim come because of seven things, with one of them being the sin of lashon hara.
Rechilus Will Ultimately be Heard by the One Who Was Spoken About
The Chofetz Chaim zt”l once said to a group of people: One can learn how terrible speaking rechilus is from the process of sending a letter by mail. If one wants to send his friend a letter, he has to write his friend’s full name and address, and attach a stamp. If he makes a mistake in the name or address, or forgets to put on a stamp, the letter will probably not be delivered. Even if everything is done correctly, one still cannot be guaranteed that his letter will be delivered because many letters are lost in the mail, even though the post office employs many people to sort the mail and to try to deliver every letter.
The opposite is true in regards to rechilus. When a person speaks badly about his friend, even if he doesn’t mention his name and only hints to whom he is talking about, and even if he doesn’t say where his friend lives, and even if he doesn’t pay anyone to tell his friend what he said about him, and even though no one is employed to make sure that the words are “delivered”, one can still be assured that the words he said will end up reaching the ears of the man who was spoken about because that is the power of rechilus.
The Power of Caring for Others
We learn from this Parshah the severity of speaking badly about one’s friend. This is so damaging that it causes one to be struck physically and financially. We can infer that the opposite is even more true – if one is careful to maintain his friend’s honor, he will be greatly rewarded.
It is related that Rav Shimon Sofer zt”l, the son of the Chasam Sofer zy”a and Rov of Krakow, married off one of his sons to the daughter of resident of Krakow who was both scholarly and wealthy. The mechutin was a young man who was marrying off his oldest daughter, and the wedding was regal and splendorous. Sitting in front were all the local Rabbanim and talmidei chochomim, as well as many Rabbanim and Admorim who came from the surrounding area to take part in the simcha.
During the seudah, one of the Rabbanim who was seated next to the young mechutin, turned to him and asked, “Tell me, what zechus do you possess that made you worthy of doing a shidduch with such a great gaon and tzadik and a son of the Chasam Sofer?” The mechutin replied, “I am merely a simple person. But I once did a good thing and I believe that the merit of this action has always stood by me. I married the daughter of a poor man and, as is customary, my in-laws promised to give me certain presents and furnishings for our home. They fulfilled the word and gave us everything they promised. However, when we went to spend our first Shabbos as a married couple in my wife’s parents’ house, I noticed that my mother-in-law was not lighting the Shabbos lights in silver or glass candlesticks. Rather, she only had simple clay candle-holders, while my wife had nice silver candlesticks that her parents had gifted to us.
“I asked my wife about this and she tearfully answered that her mother had given us her own candlesticks because she couldn’t afford to purchase new ones for us. I started looking around the house and realized that my in-laws had given us other things of their own as well. For example, the blankets they had given us were used but were of good quality, while the ones I saw in my in-law’s house were very old and threadbare. I concluded that we had to return everything.
“I told my father-in-law: ‘Why should I have nice things while you have nothing? Why do I deserve these things more than you?’ I gave him back all his presents and I borrowed money from a friend to purchase what we needed for our house, trusting in Hashem to provide me with the money to pay back the loan.
“And Hashem did help! That very day, when I came to shul, a man approached me and told me that he had a good business deal for me. He advised me that it was worth my while to borrow money to invest in this deal, as it would make me a nice profit. I took his advice and borrowed some more money to buy the merchandise he suggested and I made a lot of money from that deal. From then on, I was successful in everything I did. Hashem blessed me with wealth and I had enough time to spend much of my day learning Torah. And now, I have merited becoming a mechutin with the Rov of the city.”
Tzadikim Help Overcome the Yeitzer Hara
The Bais Avrohom of Slonim zy”a (quoted in Sefer Sichos Kodesh) related that every morning, Rav Itzele of Koidenov zy”a would say to himself, “It is really hard to be a Jew. The yeitzer hara is a malach. It doesn’t have the challenges of eating, drinking and sleeping. But I am trapped in a flesh-and-blood body that constantly requires physical things. The yeitzer hara is made of fire while I am made of bones and meat. How can I beat him? However, if I do my part, I can overcome him, as Chazal say (Shabbos 104A): ‘Haba letaher mesayin oso.’ If a person begins to purify himself, he will receive Divine assistance. Hashem will help and the tzadikim in this world and in the next will help.”
Accordingly, the pasuk is saying, “This is the Torah of a metzorah.” This refers to a person who views himself like a metzorah, full of blemishes and wounds from head to toe, and he wants to fix and purify himself but doesn’t know how to overcome his yeitzer hara. Regarding this, the Ohr Hachaim Hakadosh says: “I have met reshaim who told me outright that if they would know that they could do teshuva and then immediately die, they would do it. But they know that if they stay alive, they won’t be able to sustain the teshuva for too long. They are willing to die with teshuva, but they can’t live with teshuva.”
The Torah comes to encourage such people by saying “this is the Torah of a metzorah on the day of his purification.” On the very day that one puts his heart to purifying himself and makes a small effort of his own even though he sees no way to fully defeat the yeitzer hara, Hashem will implant him with full emunah that he will eventually reach the point of “being brought to the kohen”, meaning that he will become connected to tzadikim who will help him become pure.
One Who Speaks Lashon Hara Derives Hashem of Pleasure
The Meor Einayim zy”a explains why the punishment for lashon hara is tzoraas by quoting Chazal’s statement that the world was created by Hashem “for the Torah and for Yisroel(.” The Jewish people are so important to Hashem that He created all the higher and lower worlds for our sake. Furthermore, He derives great pleasure from every Jewish person, including those who are wicked, as is stated (Shir Hashirim 6:7): “K’pelach harimon yarkesecha”, which Chazal (Chagigah 27A) understand to mean that even “the empty ones” (reikanim) in Klal Yisroel are as full of mitzvos as a pomegranate is full of seeds.
With this in mind, it can be said that if someone speaks negatively about a Jew, even if he is saying the truth, he is taking pleasure away from Hashem and, so to speak, causing Him to be sad. He is transforming Hashem’s “oneg” into “nega” and, therefore, is deserving of being struck with a nega.
Thinking Before Speaking
The Medrash states (Koheles Rabbah 5:3): “A word worth a selah. Silence is worth two.” The Chozeh of Lublin zy”a explains that Chazal are teaching us an important lesson. Before a person opens his mouth to speak, he should filter his words like one filters fine flour (“soles”). Furthermore, it is not sufficient to filter one’s words once, rather they should be sifted twice, meaning that one should think twice before speaking in order to determine whether the words he wants to say should be spoken aloud. Thus, the Medrash is saying that one’s words are worth a selah, meaning that they are valuable, only if they are sifted twice, meaning that one thinks about them twice before speaking.”
Guarding One’s Words is as Valuable as Self-Affliction
The Vilna Gaon zt”l writes in his tzavaah: “The main way that one earns Olam Haba is by guarding one’s mouth. This is greater than all Torah and good deeds because the mouth is kodesh kodashim. Until the day of one’s death, he must afflict himself, but not by fasting or harming his body. Rather, one does this by holding back his mouth and his desires... Guarding one’s mouth in this way is more effective than all fasts and physical afflictions. Every single second that a person closes his mouth, he is rewarded with a great, hidden light that no angel or creation can imagine.”
In truth, this is something every individual can understand for himself, as it is clearly harder to engage in a “taanis dibbur” and refrain from talking for a whole day than to fast and refrain from eating for a day.
A Taanis Dibbur That Led to Wasted Words
The Kotzker Rebbe zy”a once met a chasid who was in the middle of a taanis dibbur. However, he could see with his ruach hakodesh that after his taanis dibbur was done, this chasid was going to speak many frivolous and unnecessary words, which would far outweigh that day’s silence. Therefore, he told him to end his taanis dibbur and, instead, to be careful with the words he does say. He told him, “It’s better to speak a little every day than to be silent one day and speak a lot the next day.”
Those close to the Rebbe later asked him, “Isn’t making a taanis dibbur a very good thing? Why did you tell him to stop?” The Rebbe answered, “I’m not afraid of his fasting. But I am afraid of his ‘oisfasten’ (what he will do when his fast ends).”
Do Not Swallow Your Friend
Rav Yisroel Salanter zt”l explains the connection between Parshas Shemini, which deals with permitted and forbidden foods, and Parshas Tazria and Metzorah by saying that many people are careful about what they put into their mouths but are not as careful about comes out of their mouths. They make sure not to eat anything forbidden but sometimes say words that are forbidden to say.
The Torah is teaching us that one must be just as careful with lashon hara – the sin that causes tzora’as – as he is with the laws of kashrus. Just like one is careful not to swallow anything forbidden, he must be careful not to “swallow” his friend by speaking badly about him.
Regarding this, Rav Dovid of Lelov zy”a offers an explanation of the verse (Tehillim 22:7): “I am a worm and not a man.” He explains this to mean that when one thinks about others, he should consider himself to be like a worm, rather than like a man, so that there is no chance that he will swallow them with his words.
It is related that the Yid Hakadosh of Peshischa zy”a once told his student, Rav Bunim of Peshischa zy”a, to travel to a certain city, without revealing the reason for the trip. Rav Bunim asked no questions. He took several other members of the “chavraya”, hired a wagon driver, and went on his way.
After several hours of travel, the group got hungry. They stopped at the closest city and entered a roadside inn, intending to buy a meal. Rav Bunim went into a side room while the other chasidim went to speak to the owner about preparing a meal for them. They asked if he could make them a dairy meal but he told them that he had no dairy products on hand and he could only make them a fleishig meal.
The chasidim didn’t want to eat in a place where they didn’t know the Rov or shochet. They began asking about the shochet and how he checked the animal and salted the meat, etc.
Suddenly, they heard a voice saying, “Chasidim, chasidim...” They looked around until they saw a Jewish man dressed in torn clothing sitting behind the furnace. This man said to them sharply, “Chasidim... you are so careful about what you put into your mouths. You have so many shailohs about who the shochet is, how the meat was prepared... But you have no shailohs at all about what comes your mouths...”
Rav Bunim heard what the man said and it made a big impression on him. We are so careful about what we put into our mouths but so lackadaisical about what comes out of our mouths, even though forbidden words may be a more severe prohibition than forbidden foods. He now understood why his rebbi had sent him to this place. He wanted him to hear these words and learn this important lesson for life. He immediately told the wagon driver to prepare for the return trip, as they had already concluded the reason for their journey.
Three Stories About Judging Everyone Favorably
The way to avoid speaking badly about others is by seeing the good in them and judging them favorably.
During the times of Rav Levi Yitzchok of Berditchov zy”a, there lived a very wealthy man who was known to be very stingy. He was such a miser that on the day he died, the Chevra Kadisha refused to bury him until his family paid the sum of 1,000 gold coins for his burial plot, which was many times more than the amount they usually charged. The man’s sons came to Rav Levi Yitzchok and asked him to preside over their din Torah with the Chevra Kadisha, and he agreed,
When they told him that their father had died, Rav Levi Yitzchok began to cry and proclaim, “Oy vey! We have lost a great man! We must make a proclamation that everyone in town must stop working to participate in the funeral, and I will deliver a hesped.”
And so it was. Everyone close their stores and came to the levaya.
Rav Levi Yitzchok began his eulogy by saying, “We now know that this man secretly distributed a lot of money to tzedakah. This is evident from three dinei Torah that were brought before me...”
He continued, “The first story was that a certain man borrowed a lot of money from several people. He went to the marketplace to buy merchandise to sell for a profit. The market was very crowded and there was a lot of jostling and pushing. When he reached into his pocket for his wallet, he was shocked to see that it was gone.
“The man began to scream and cry, until he fainted. This wealthy man heard the screams and hurried over to the man. Although he had not found the money, he whispered into the man’s ear, ‘I found some money. Tell me, how much did you lose.’
“The man opened his eyes and told him how much he had lost, and the wealthy man immediately gave that much to him. The man was overjoyed to have his money back and he went on his way. Meanwhile, the man who really found the money had seen what the wealthy man did. He walked over to him and tried to give him the money he found but the wealthy man refused to take it, saying that he had earned the mitzvah of helping a fellow Jew and he would not agree to give it up. In the end, they came to me for a din Torah. I heard their claims and ruled that the money should be given to tzedakah.
“The second story was that a certain man was unsuccessful in business. He decided to travel to a distant city with the hope of finding parnassah there. His wife tried to stop him from going, saying that he couldn’t leave her and the children without any source of livelihood for such an extended period of time. The man comforted her by saying, ‘Don’t worry. I made an arrangement with a wealthy man to give you 25 rubles every month, and I’ll pay him back when I return home.’
“He gave her the name of the nifter and told her that he had agreed to the deal. In truth, he had never spoken to the wealthy man and no deal had been made and he was only telling this to his wife so that she would allow him to go.
“After her husband left on his journey, the wife went to the wealthy man’s house and asked for her money. The wealthy man realized what was going on, and pretended that the husband really had arranged a deal with him. He gave her the money, and continued to do every week for 10 years.
“When the husband finally came home with all the money he made, he was expecting to find his wife living in poverty. He was surprised to see that she was living very nicely and he asked her how she had managed. She said, ‘I did what you told me to do. I went to the wealthy man and he gave me money every week.’
“The husband made a calculation of how much he owed the wealthy man for all his year’s of supporting his family, and he went to repay the money. However, the wealthy man refused to accept the money, saying that he had earned the mitzvah and he wouldn’t give it up. Again, they came to me for a din Torah and I ruled that the money should be given to tzedakah.
“The third story was that a businessman lost all his money in a bad deal, and he fell deeply into debt. He heard about a forest that was up for sale for 1,000 rubles, and he knew that he could double his money and get back on his feet if he could purchase it. He approached the nifter and asked him to please lend him the money to make the purchase. The wealthy man asked him, ‘Who will cosign for you on the loan?’
“The man replied, ‘Hashem will be my cosigner.’
“The wealthy man liked this answer and said, ‘Very good. Hashem is the best guarantor in the world.’
“He gave the man the loan, and he more than doubled the money from his investment. He paid back all his debts and then came to the wealthy man to pay back his loan but he refused to accept payment. He said, ‘The day after I lent you the money, your cosigner paid back the loan. You don’t owe me anything.’
“Once more, they came to me for a din Torah and I ruled that the money should be given to tzedakah.”
Rav Levi Yitzchok concluded his hesped by saying, “I only know about these three stories but there are certainly many more stories like these that we don’t know about. Therefore, we should all cry over this huge loss!”
The Baal Teshuva Immediately Connects to Hashem
The Zohar Hakadosh (129A) states about the verse: “And Avrohom was old advanced in age” that Avrohom didn’t reach his closeness to Hashem in one day. Rather, with his good actions, he drew closer to Him little by little, getting a bit nearer each day, until he finally reached his loftiest level in his old age. This is seen from the pasuk that says that when Avrohom was old, he was “advanced in days”, meaning that he used each day to get a little closer to Hashem. Sefer Divrei Shmuel writes that while this is the normal way to draw close to Hashem, baalei teshuva are able to jump to lofty levels in one day, or even in one moment, in a manner that even complete tzadikim cannot emulate.
This idea is hinted to in the verse that says: “This is the Torah of the metzorah on the day of his purification.” This can mean that as soon as he does teshuva, on that very day, he is purified and “he is brought to the kohen”, which is a reference to Hashem, who is referred to as a “kohen” (see Sanhedrin 39A).
