A Yungerman who is a major Masmid, Talmid Chochom, and Rosh Chabura would come home full of stress, since he had a difficult childhood. He now learns Shaar HaBitachon and other Inyanei Bitachon for over an hour daily. As he learns Mussar, he gets happier and happier, and his wife and children are overjoyed. I was asked: תּוֹ ָר ַמ ה ְתּ ה ֵה ָﬠ א ֶל ָהי What will be with his learning?? Such a major Ben Torah should lose so much Torah on a regular basis??
Do I need to decide such a Shayla dilemma? Take your pick: Do you want to be a bigger Talmid Chochom and keep hurting your wife and kids [and yourself] and quite possibly end up in the hospital with physical or mental issues, and be Nichshal in either Kin'ah, Ta'ava, Kavod, Ga'ava, ִשׁ ְפלוּ ַה ת ְבּ ַה ִמי lowliness of an animal, and all kinds of unhealthy complexes and depressions [or all of the above, Rachmana Litzlan]... or not?!
It is obvious that Hashem wants this Yungerman to take care of: תַריִבְשׁ םָדָאָה תוּיִח רָקיִﬠתוֹדִמַה his main purpose in life; i.e., Shviras HaMiddos. And if a person does Ratzon Hashem, there is no doubt that he will come out ahead, even in his learning.
P.S. I have many more stories where Mussar saved marriages and other relationships, including stories of Yungerleit whose anxieties made them stop learning [sometimes more and sometimes less]. After learning lots of Mussar for an extended period of time, they can finally learn Gemara with Tosafos full-time again.
