Connected to Everyone
And not just ‘the living’; Shlomo says ִ יםָּ ל הַ חַ יּכ – all the living. Ooh, that’s an important word, ָלּכ. Because one person might test your free will in one way and another person a different way. Your wife tests your free will like this but your son tests it like that. Your daughter, she’s a different test. The landlord also tests you and so does your mother-in-law. And so do all the relatives on your side. And on your wife's side. And your father and mother too; they began testing you before you married but now, after you’re out of the house, it’s a different type of test. And your brothers and sisters too.
And the more, the merrier. That’s the gem of life – the numberless opportunities to deal with people the right way, to make them happy, to encourage them, to do chesed to people, to know how to handle people. And therefore the more people in the world, the more alive we are.
Of course, it’s a big challenge. Kol hachaim means there are all kinds of people. There are mean people. There are bashful people. There are people who need your attention, your time. There are depressed people. There are angry people. There are arrogant, conceited people.
You know it’s very hard to get along with a conceited man. If he's a humble man, it's easy to talk to him but if he's conceited, if he thinks too much of himself, you’re not interested in getting along with him at all. But you're making a big mistake because he's sent to us as a gift. He’s included in kol hachaim; if you can train yourself to get along with him you’re living life to its fullest.
Angelic Wives
Here is a man married to a woman and she’s a nuisance. You have to admit it, she is. So what? Is that a reason to go through life with alibis and excuses. Live life! Deal with it! Make yourself great! If your wife would be an angel then what's the use of having one? It’s only because she’s so far from being an angel, that's why it pays to live in this world.
Now let’s say you are unfortunate enough to have an angel for a wife – it happens sometimes. So then your father might be a nuisance or your father-in-law might be bothersome. And so, they’re included in kol hachaim. Be the best son you can be to that father. To that father-in-law be the best son-in-law you can. To your husband – he’s a little wild sometimes; he’s not behaving – be the best wife you can. To your mother-in-law be the best daughter-in-law that you can. To your brothers and sisters, be the best sibling you can be.
That's why they’re around! It’s bechirah galore. It's a life worth living, a life of opportunity. And if somebody slinks off into a corner because he doesn't want contact with people, although to some extent he still has free will, he has deprived himself of some of the great opportunities that life offers.
