R’ Cook responded “thank you for the letter” and then he wrote, that the difference between the cases is that R’ Yitzchok Elchonon lived at a time when the maskilim and reform were up and raising. They held, that if there is no rational reason behind a minhag, then there is no need to keep it. Therefore, R’ Yitzchok Elchonon had to put his foot down. If he didn’t, the next day the reform would put in the newspaper headlines, “R’ Yitzchok Elchonon Was Mesader Kiddushin Outdoors”, and although they may have been a good reason, they would somehow forget to mention it.
[We saw above that the Chasam Sofer also wrote very strongly against outdoor chuppah’s and R’ Moshe Feinstein explained that this was because he was fighting against the reform who were on the rise during his time.]
However, under normal circumstances bein adam lechaveiro does in fact come before minhag, and in a time and place where there is no fight against the reform, bein adam lechaveiro wins.
