CHILDREN – SELF-ESTEEM
How can we get a child to feel satisfaction from what he or she does? How do we uncover a child’s strengths? And how do we give a genuine compliment to a child that will make the child feel good about himself?
ANSWER
Get to know the child’s personality and strengths, not just how the child acts and what he does. In order to do this, you need to get to know the child by observing what he does and how he expresses himself. For example, take note of how energetic the child is, what he’s like when he gets angry, and what makes him happy, etc. You can know this by learning about the 4 elements in the soul and how they are expressed in one’s behavior.
And you also need to compliment a child whenever you notice his particular good points, by giving a genuine compliment to the child about the quality that the child has, without adding anything else to the compliment, just stating the pure truth – for example, if the child cleans and tidies up well, say “You clean so nicely”, and don’t add anything else to the compliment.
CAN UNDERSTANDING 4 ELEMENTS HEAL SEVERE PHYSICAL ABUSE?
If a child was molested, is no longer shomer Shabbos, fell into drugs, and is currently living a life of total carelessness, and now as a teenager this boy or girl is turning to therapists for help, can understanding the particular 4 elements of the soul (earth, water, wind and fire) be helpful in treating the abuse of this teenager?
ANSWER
No one has the same soul as another person, and therefore, even if every person were to experience this same exact situation, they would each experience it differently [due to the unique makeup of the 4 elements of each person’s particular soul]. Therefore, it is necessary for the therapist to (1) Understand the child’s particular personality [by seeing which elements are most dominant in him or her], and also (2) The teenager [or any abused person in question] would need to have a very strong, determined will to work hard at understanding himself, and (3) The teenager in question would need to have a strong desire to come out of the trauma that he/she experience.
