After a woman gives birth, she is commanded to offer two korbanos. As the pasuk states: “Keves ben shenaso l’olah, uben yonah oh tor l’chatas” (Vayikra 12:6). The Torah clearly dictates that the first offering is an olah that is to be consumed totally, and no one may eat the meat of the offering, and the second is a chatas, which may be consumed by a Kohen. Offering an olah is appropriate as an expression of appreciation for having been granted a child. But why bring a chatas, which is typically required of someone who committed an unintentional transgression? Several mefarshim (based on Niddah 31b) explain that perhaps while experiencing the pain of child labor, the woman may have sworn not to get pregnant again and go through this agony. She, therefore, offers a chatas to atone for her inadvertent promise, which she likely regrets after seeing the results of her labor.
There is something unusual, though, with respect to the order of the korbanos that the yoledes offers. The Gemara (Zevachin 7b) states that when one offers both a korban chatas and a korban olah, the korban chatas should be brought first to symbolize sur mei’rah (requesting forgiveness from the unintentional transgression), followed by the korban olah, which represents the asei tov (a complete submission to Hashem) and an expression of gratitude. First, you wipe the slate clean, and then, you offer a present. If that is the case, then why are the korbanos offered by the yoledes in the opposite order, as the pasuk dictates that she first offers an olah followed by a chatas?
The Menachem Zion (son-in-law of R’ Tzvi Pesach Frank) offers a fascinating insight highlighting the relevance of the symbolic nature of these korbanos. Perhaps, hidden in this slight nuance is the secret to successful parenting.
On the one hand, every parent has aspirations for their child and dreams and hopes for their future success. In Hebrew, this is referred to as she’ifos.
On the other hand, reality, or met’zius, kicks in, and often those original hopes and goals are not attained. It is crucial for a parent to set the bar high, have their children reach for the stars, yet be appreciative and satisfied with what their hard efforts actually achieved. A parent should provide a child with all the tools necessary for their success, bearing in mind, chanoch l’na’ar al pi darko, that each child is different and is blessed with unique capabilities with which they can flourish. We must proceed cautiously, so as not to expect too much, but be certain not to shoot for mediocrity, or the result will be inferiority.
Unfortunately, sometimes, as parents and grandparents, we are negligent in both directions. On the one hand, we often try to push the children even beyond their capabilities, maybe trying to have them do what we want to accomplish instead of thinking about what’s good for them. This could then lead to our feelings of disappointment and their feelings of failure. But on the other hand, we sometimes are too reticent and passive in regard to our children. In our very open world, we as parents, at times, forget that we are tasked with educating our children and not leaving them with the freedom to choose at every corner. We need to motivate them as much as possible to reach for the stars and make the most out of every spiritual opportunity that presents itself.
The yoledes brings the olah first to symbolize that a parent should reach for the stars and expect the best from their child. Yet, the olah is followed by a chatas to symbolize that in reality, even if our child is not perfect, they are still holy, as a chatas that is partly offered to Hashem and partly consumed here on Earth by the Kohen.
RABBI SHALOM ROSNER
