Dear Alumni Sheyichyu!
SholomU’Brocho!
Mazel Tov to Rabbi & Mrs. Dov Yehuda Schochet (magid shiur of shiur aleph mesivta) on the birth of their son. May they bring him up lTOveCHuMAA”T mitoch harchovo, and to be a true chayol! (If anyone is aware of any mazeltov’s that I omitted please let me know).
Thank you as always for the feedback, it is much appreciated.
I know I’m not due yet for another e-mail, since I just sent one on Friday, but I have to share with you an amazing story that I read a few days ago, so I’ll let this be a tikkun for one of the times that I missed. You see, I read this amazing story in Rambam. That’s right, in Rambam. It was in the shiur of Friday, and I found it to be a remarkable story. Not that it’s necessarily a story that ever actually took place, it may be only a theoretical story, but I find it to be quite remarkable all the same. But I’ll let you be the judge.
Here’s what the Rambam writes: Someone writes a get to a lady, with the designation that after he marries her, this will be the document that he uses to divorce her (the Rambam differentiates between whether she already had kiddushin from him at the time or not to determine whether or not the get is valid).
Whoa. Did you get that (pun intended)? He’s not even married to her yet, and he’s preparing his divorce?!!
Picture the following: A guy meets his friend and says: “Is it true? I heard that you’re getting a divorce. That’s too bad. When is it going to happen?” And the friend replies: “I’m not sure yet. First I have to marry her. Probably in another 2 months we’ll get married, and then we’ll be able to get divorced two weeks later.” Or two months later. Or two years later.
Whichever way you say it, it sounds pretty crazy to me!
Or try the following: Chaim goes to Yankel and says: “Are you all ready for your upcoming chasuna? Did you get the Kesubah? The ring? The kittel? The bedekkinesh tichel? The get?
And Yankel says: “Not the get. The Rov that I’m not allowed to have the get written until after the wedding”.
Hello! You aren’t married yet and you’re planning a get?! Wouldn’t we have all these people certified and institutionalized? What kind of weddings are these anyway?!
Perhaps it can be somewhat illustrated with the following story:
The Frierdige Rebbe, during the lifetime of his father the Rebbe Rashab (when his “official” position was that of menahel poel of the Yeshiva) used to have a custom to farbreng with a group of the senior bochurim every year on Sukkos. During one of those farbrengens, he told them the following:
Many people ask a question; - we often see graduates – alumni – of Tomchei Tmimim, upon whom the time spent there is not recognizable on them. One would expect, rightfully, that anyone who went through Tomchei Tmimim will be changed for life; - how is it that on these Tmimim it is not noticeable?
Some suggest – the Frierdige Rebbe said – that the reason is because these are bochurim who came to Yeshiva when they were already older bochurim. Therefore their stay in Yeshiva did not last long enough to have a proper impact on them. This answer is incorrect. If someone is in Yeshiva properly, even for one day, the effects will last for a lifetime.
The real reason, the Rebbe clarified, is because since they arrived in the Yeshiva as older bochurim, therefore their mindset from the outset was that this will only be a temporary stay (because they will soon need to make a living and get on with their life). This mindset prevents it from having the desired effect.
When someone comes to Tomchei Tmimim it needs to be with the sense that I am here for my whole life, in
