There is a beis medresh in Lakewood that was built through the fundraising efforts of one yungerman, who was one of the gabai'im of that congregation. He felt that since he raised the money, he had the right to make the rules of the beis medresh. So he insisted that there be no speaking during the tefillah. Each week before kriyas haTorah he stood on the bimah and announced, "In this beis medresh, we don't speak from the beginning of the tefillah until the end."
Some members of the shul didn't appreciate his weekly announcements. Each week, after his weekly announcement, they would shout sarcastically, "Yashar koach! Yashar koach!" They made a joke out of it (primarily because they wanted to speak during the tefillah).
Their jeers bothered the gabbai. However, it didn't stop him from making his weekly announcement because it was important that there shouldn't be any speaking during the tefillah.
One week, the mockers’ insults at him were more insulting than usual. They shouted, "Who are you to tell us what to do? Just because you have a loud voice doesn't make you in charge..."
He descended from the bimah in shame. He didn't answer. After the tefillah he went over to his friend, Reb Aharon Deutsch, who was also in the beis medresh. Reb Aharon Deutsch was childless for seventeen years of marriage, and the gabai said to him, "In the merit of the shame I just endured, and in the merit of my silence, may Hashem grant you children."
The following Shabbos, the gabbai went to the bimah again and made his weekly announcement, but his heart was no longer in it. He was still hurting from the humiliation. A short while later, he decided to leave that beis medresh.
This story is also a mashal that can help us understand the benefits of yesurim or the benefits we earn from shame and humiliation. We think we are only losing. But the day will come when we discover that each humiliation and hardship was gold, and we wish we had more.
Baalei mussar tell a parable of a king who told someone that he must stand in a public area, and when people pass by, he must take off their shoes and put new shoes on their feet. He couldn't believe that this was forced onto him. He had never felt so disgraced in his entire life.
But if this person owned a shoe store, he would do the same and be happy with it. The difference is that when one knows he will gain from the task, he doesn't feel the humiliation. The same applies to all yesurim and shame. If we knew what we gained from them, we would be happy with them, and they wouldn't bother us at all.
The Belzer Rav zt'l said that when one collects money for tzedakah, he needs two pockets. One pocket is for the money he receives, and the other for the humiliation he endures. Which pocket receives the better portion? The Belzer Rav said humiliation is far better because embarrassment for a mitzvah removes all aveiros.
The Midrash states, "Don't be afraid of negaim (tzaraas) because they are for the goyim. However, you will eat and drink and be happy."
Rav Wosner explains that the goyim need yesurim and negaim to atone for their aveiros, but you don't need yesurim to remove your aveiros. Your aveiros are removed with humiliation. This is a rectification, without any physical pain. Therefore, you can eat, drink, and be happy. You will be healthy and have no pain or problems because whatever aveiros needed to be removed were removed with the humiliation you endured.
Nevertheless, he kept up with his friends from this beis medresh, especially with Reb Aharon Deutsch. One day, he said to Reb Aharon, “The 3rd of Iyar, the yahrtzeit of Rebbe Shayele Kerestirer zt’l is approaching. Come with me to Kerestir, and you can daven at the tzaddik's kever for children. Many have experienced yeshuos there."
By then, it was already eighteen years after his chasunah. Reb Aharon had lost hope of ever having children. His friend (the former gabbai) urged him to reconsider.
Reb Aharon replied, "If you make peace with the people who embarrassed you in our beis medresh, I will go with you to Kerestir."
That wasn't an easy request, but it was important for him that his friend goes to Kerestir. So, he called up the people who humiliated him and made up with them. They also asked him for forgiveness and they said that they hope he would return to the beis medresh. They promised never to embarrass him again.
Reb Aharon and the gabbai traveled to Kerestir on the yahrtzeit. Less than a year later, Reb Aharon had a daughter.
Reb Aharon Deutsch commented, "Chazal say there are three partners in the creation of man: the father, the mother, and Hakadosh Baruch Hu. But for this child, there were five partners because she was born in the merit of the gabbai's humility, and in the merit of Rebbe Shayele Kerestirer."
