A person stricken with tzara’as must undergo a long and arduous process in order to become pure again, the Torah teaches us. After the painful and embarrassing experience, the person must appear before a kohen to be pronounced clean. Yet, this is not the end of the story, as the person still needs to bring a korban in order to receive a kapparah. The Chasam Sofer asks why the suffering the person has already experienced was not enough atonement for him to be forgiven and cleansed.
He answers by describing the difference between a person who makes a cheshbon hanefesh and comes to the conclusion that he has sinned; and a person who is unaware of where he has gone wrong and needs to be woken up by the affliction of tzara’as. Even if a person only does teshuvah out of yirah — in order to avoid being punished by Hashem — that teshuvah is enough to achieve a kapparah if it comes from him, unprompted by any message from Shamayim. However, if a person makes no cheshbon hanefesh and continues his life unaware of and unconcerned with where he may have slipped up, he will need to be woken up by Hashem. For such a person, simply undergoing the suffering associated with tzara’as is not enough for him to become pure again. He will also need to bring a korban in order to receive a kapparah, because he lacked that level of awareness.
Trying to become aware of where things need improvement before disaster strikes is always wise. Resolving issues when they are still minor, just hints of trouble to come, is so much simpler than dealing with full-blown problems that have been allowed to get out of hand.
Too often, people sail blithely through life unaware of all the people they are upsetting and hurting and only wake up when relationships start falling apart all around them. This applies with either a spouse or a child. Sometimes, all a child needs is a bit more time and attention, on a relatively consistent basis, for things to start moving in a more positive direction. That’s much easier (and cheaper, I sometimes add only half-jokingly) than paying for therapy later.
