The world that we live in is quite different from the rest of the nations of the world. The Jewish world follows an order that night comes before the day, while other nation’s day precedes night. Metaphorically speaking, the darkness or difficult times comes before the good times. People that live a life that day comes before the night might have a good time but as time passes and they don’t accomplish or accumulate, their world only gets darker.
When living night preceding day, the reality is that before day break it’s the darkest moment in time. When we experience painful times, it’s important to know in the darkest hour to hang in there as this is the sign that it’s almost over, dawn will break soon. Anything of great worth is earned through toil and challenges. Imagine a world where you can buy children in Walmart for $19.99 (at least there is a good return policy – save the receipt!), would children have value? The more the pain, the more the appreciation and pleasure for what was obtained. The Chasam Sofer explains that Haggar had Yishmael with Avraham immediately, while Sara had to wait 70 years. This was because in order to have a Yishmael, you don’t need preparation, but to have a Yitzchak, you need 70 years of tefilla.
The Parasha speaks of two subjects that seem to have nothing in common: having children and the laws of tzaraat. Children are a good thing and tzaraat, not so much fun. The lesson is to depict the contrast of the two ways of life. A long term investment, which has tremendous gains over time, versus short term pleasure of gossip that eventually leaves one alone and friendless. When one receives tzaarat, he is sent out of the camps to live alone. You may enjoy the moment of knocking someone, or feel elevated when speaking down about a person, but it’s only temporary. Ultimately this pleasure will cause much sorrow and loneliness because what goes around comes around. Long term pleasure comes with having children, although difficult at times, (ok, lots of times!) the joy and satisfaction of building a better world, and an extension of one’s self, is enormous.
The word for pleasure in the torah is oneg, spelled ayin, nun, gimel. The word for extreme pain is nega; nun, gimel, ayin. The gossiper is an individual that chooses nega over oneg, one that puts his ayin tova last and not first.
We live at a time where there is a silent cry radiating from the hearts and souls of our fellow Jews. These people live in shadows and shade and do not see a future of light. How can we transform someone’s darkness and help them hang on until dawn breaks? Sometimes a validating and listening ear can help lighten a heavy burden. Let’s all resolve to be sensitive and aware of others who may need our attention and care. Let’s make sure no one ever feels alone like a person with tzaraat, removed from the camp or the community. May we all be spared of any nega and only be blessed with an abundance of oneg.
Nega and Oneg
