(The following discussion is based on a shiur I heard from R’ Yissochar Frand. This shiur was based on several chilufay michtovois [exchange of letters] and Teshuvos, between a friend of his, R’ Yaakov Luban, and two prominent poskim in Eretz Yisroel, R’ Binyomin Adler (mechaber of sefer Nisuin Kehilchosah and R’ Ben Tzion Cook.)
R’ Luban was by a chasunah, and as if often the case, both the parents and grandparents were present. The minhag Yisroel is that you honor the grandparents with a berachah under the chuppah. Very often the chuppah is on a platform and requires climbing up a few steps in order to be able to get to it. At a particular chuppah, R’ Luban noticed that there was an elderly frail grandfather present who got called up for a berachah under the chuppah, and it was extremely difficult for him to climb up. R’ Luban wondered if it is absolutely necessary for the sheva berachos to be recited under the chuppah, or if perhaps, the grandfather could stay where he was and the kois [cup] be brought to him, and he can recite the berachah from his place. Doing so would make things easier, and would save the grandfather from struggling to climb up to the chuppah. What is the halachah?
Seemingly It’s a Clear Rema
One would be tempted to say, that the answer to the above is an explicit Rema. The Rema is the same Rema we mentioned above about getting married outdoors, however, it’s a different part of the Rema. The Rema (Even HaEzer 61) writes: ונהגו עכשיו לברך תחת החופה קודם שנתייחד עמו – “The current custom is that we make the berachos under the chuppah, before the husband and wife go into a private room together”. The Rema writes clearly, that the berachos should be recited under the chuppah.
However, upon closer analysis one should realize that the Rema is no proof, as the Rema is not referring to where the sheva berachos are made, rather he is referring to when. There is a machlokes Rishonim as to when the sheva berachos (birchas nisuin) are to be said. The Rambam has a unique opinion and maintains that the berachos should be said before the chuppah, before the chosan leaves his house. However, the Ran in the first Perek of Pesochim cites the BeHag who maintains that the sheva berachos are recited under the chuppah. In Darkei Moshe (62:1) the Rema mentions this machlokes and concludes that the sheva berachos are made under the chuppah. Therefore, when the Rema in 61:1 writes: ונהגו עכשיו לברך תחת החופה – “The current custom is, that we make the berachos under the chuppah”, he is not coming to say where the berachos should be recited, rather he is coming to rule like the Behag, that the berachos should be recited by the chuppah and not beforehand. Consequently, we have no proof to our original shailah.
May the Kois Be Brought To the Grandfather?
R’ Binyomin Adler (Nisuin Kehilchosah) in his Teshuvah sefer discusses an interesting shailah: There was a chuppah which took place on a elevated stage, higher than 10 tefochim (approx. 40 inches). The rov due to his weakness didn’t have the strength to go up to the chuppah, so he recited the berachos from his place. R’ Binyomim Adler was asked, if doing such a thing is lechatchilah [ideal]? And if not, what is the din if bedieved [post-facto] it was done?
R’ Adler points out that there may be another issue involved, one which the sho’el [asker] never addressed. If the chuppah is on a platform which is 10 tefochim high, and 4 wide, it may be considered as if the chosan and kallah are in their own domain, and like they are in a different room. Surely the berachos must be said in the same domain as the chosan and kallah?
R’ Adler then goes on to discuss this shailah, and says that this is really an old shailah which was very common in the old shul’s in Europe. Many old shul’s were built with a big bimah at least 10 tefochim high, and 4 wide. The chazon would daven from the bimah, and the mispalelim [congregation] would daven off the bimah. If there would be 1 chazon and 9 mispalelim would this be considered tefillah b’tzibbur or would we perhaps say that since the bimah is considered its own domain, it’s like the chazon is in a different room and there is no minyan?
In the case of the bimah, the halachah is that the chazon and mispalelim join together, and although normally something which is 10 tefochim high, and 4 wide would be considered a different domain, especially if there are railings surrounding the domain, since it is all part of the makeup of the beis haknesses we say that the bimah is botul [nullified] to the rest of the beis haknesses, and it is all considered one.
R’ Adler maintains that the same thing is with a chuppah stage inside a chasunah hall. Just like we say by the bimah that it is botul to the beis haknesses, the same thing is with the chuppah stage, and even if it’s a big high one it is botul to the hall, and it’s not considered to be a different domain. Therefore, even if the chosan and kallah are on the stage, and the rov isn’t, it’s considered as if they are in the same domain, and it’s considered that the sheva berachos were recited in the presence of the chosan and kallah.
However, he doesn’t really address the question of whether the grandfather must recite his berachah under the chuppah, or if it’s ok for the kois to be brought to him and he can recite the berachah from his place?
A Teshuvah from R’ Ben Tzion Cook
R’ Ben Tzion Cook was sent the very shailah we asked above. He was asked by someone who was making a chasunah and wanted to honor the grandfather: If the grandfather must go up to the chuppah, or if it would be ok for him to make the berachah from his place.
R’ Cook responded that according to the strict halachah, it doesn’t matter if the berachos aren’t recited under the chuppah, however, the minhag is that we do, and even if we don’t understand what is behind the minhag, עלינו להקפיד לשמור המנהגים – It’s important that we are particular to upkeep minhogim”.
R’ Cook then suggests what is behind the minhag. It’s well known that many of the minhogim that take place under the chuppah are based on what happened at Ma’amad Har Sinai. For example, Rav Hai Gaon says that the reason we smash a glass under the chuppah is to re-enact the breaking of the Luchos. Similarly, the chuppah is a re-enactment of כפה עליהם הר כגיגית - “the lifting up of Har Sinai over Klal Yisroel’s head, like a barrel”. From Parshas Ha’azinu (32:10, and Rashi) it’s clear that כפה עליהם הר כגיגית was a big zechus for Klal Yisroel. Since the chuppah serves as a re-enactment and reminder of כפה עליהם הר כגיגית, there is no question that a berachah made under such a place carries much more potency. Therefore, although according to the strict halachah, sheva berachos don’t need to be recited under the chuppah, the minhag is that we do, therefore, one shouldn’t change.
