The nature of a Jew is to get discouraged when he sees that he’s not successful in avodvas Hashem, especially if he already tasted the sweetness of learning, or he felt a spark of powerful emunah in his heart, or he experienced a true yearning for Hashem, and now he finds himself in the dark just like he was previously. Anyone who really tries to serve Hashem must go through this challenge. After a period of time of feeling very close to Hashem, the light disappears, and we feel like giving up. So, we decide that the path of searching for spiritual light and illumination is not real, the proof being that we were unable to hold on to it for a long time.
In truth, the source of the chizuk for this situation has already been explained elsewhere in Breslov sefarim. For example, Rebbe Nachman reveals (Likutei Mohoran I, 2 and 282) that the great tzaddikim collect all of our new starts and good points, and they use them to build an amazing spiritual home for the Shechinah. Through this, we can strengthen ourselves not to look at the past and we can be happy all the time. Nonetheless, we still need an unshakable piece of advice on how to overcome the darkness we go through and get back to our previous level.
This lesson reveals the foundation of life: connecting to our earlier experiences of illumination. We should always remember the light that we had in the past and follow it, even when that light is not currently shining.
The reality is that when we fall, our doubts in emunah get stronger, and we’re not sure that Hashem is truly proud of us. Then without clear emunah, we can’t awaken ourselves to serve Hashem. At these times, we must be careful not to let our emunah disappear altogether. Instead, we must follow the clarity that we had in the past when we felt the truth in a way that gave us incredible inspiration. In this manner, we can take strength and chiyus from previous times to hold our ground right now, without needing to have the same experience as before. We already know the truth, which is an eternal reality, even if we don’t feel it at this moment.
