כי מרדכי היהודי משנה למלך אחשורוש וגדול ליהודים ורצוי לרוב אחיו דרש טוב לעמו ודבר שלום לכל זרעו
“For Mordechai, the Yehudi, was viceroy to King Achashveirosh; he was a great man among the Jews, and found favor with the multitude of his brothers; he sought the good of his people and spoke with peace to all his posterity.” (Esther 10:3)
The Ibn Ezra makes two very interesting comments on this pasuk. He says regarding the phrase:ורצוי לרוב אחיו - “He found favor with the multitude (literally the majority) of his brothers,” that because of jealousy, a person cannot find favor with everyone. It is impossible to be perfectly popular.
Then the Ibn Ezra comments on the buildup of praises that we have in the pasuk. The concluding, and seemingly greatest praise is that: ודבר שלום לכל זרעו - “He spoke with peace to all his posterity.” The Ibn Ezra comments that this means he was on good terms with all his children and grandchildren.
This seems anti-climactic. Is this the greatest thing we can find to say about Mordechai HaYehudi? The Ibn Ezra says this is indeed a great praise.
Think of all the children and grandchildren that Mordechai had, did each one turn out exactly like Mordechai would have wanted? If Mordechai would have wanted all his children and grandchildren to become talmiday chachomim, do we expect that is the way it would have worked out? Or, if he wanted them all to be expert businessman, do we expect that is the way it would turn out? Maybe there would be a black sheep in the family that became a talmid chocham!
And yet, he spoke in peace to all descendants. He was able to maintain a peaceful relationship with all his children and grandchildren. This, the Ibn Ezra tells us, is a great thing. Because of the natural fear that children have towards parents, it is not always true that there is a loving relationship between parents and children. If Mordechai could maintain such a relationship this is indeed the highest accolade that the Torah can offer him.
This is a very important lesson for all of us. We try to raise children and we have certain ideals and standards of how we would like our children to be. It does not always turn out like that. But we should always strive to maintain a relationship where we can, at least, speak peacefully with all our offspring. (R’ Frand)
