Aveilim are Chayav in Mishloach Manos
37. An aveil, even one in shivah, is chayav in mishloach manos (שו"ע סי' תרצ"ו ס"ו ), as he is chayav in all mitzvos (מ"ב סקי"ז ). Still, he should send food, not delicacies which bring joy (מג"א, מ"ב סקי"ח ). He should only send to one person (בן איש חי שנה א' פ' תצוה פורים אות י"ח, הגריש"א, אשרי האיש ח"ג פמ"ז אות ג'), or at most, two or three (דברי סופרים אבלות יו"ד סי' שפ"ה עמ"ד סקנ"ג ).
Sending to an aveil
38. To the aveil himself. One should not send mishloach manos to an aveil within twelve months of the passing of a parent or thirty days for other relatives (רמ"א שם ), since that is similar to asking how he is doing, which is ossur for all twelve months (מ"ב סק"כ ). If, bedieved, one sent to an aveil, the aveil may accept it since the sender has already “asked how he is doing,” and the aveil's acceptance does not add to that (שו"ת כתב סופר או"ח סי' קמ"א ). Also, if one asks an aveil how he is doing, the aveil may respond, and accepting the mishloach manos is like responding (שו"ת שבט הלוי ח"י סי' ק"ז אות ג').
39. To the aveil's family. One may send mishloach manos to an aveil's family if his intent is for the family and not the aveil personally (מו"ר שו"ת שבט הקהתי ח"א סי' שכ"ו ), even if the reason he is sending it to the family is because of the aveil himself, since he is not asking the aveil himself how he is doing (הגר"ח קנייבסקי, תורת המועדים סקי"ב אות ב').
40. Rav in aveilus. One may send an envelope to a rav when he is in aveilus as usual since that is like paying a debt and hakaras hatov, not asking how he is doing (שו"ת דברי מלכיאל ח"ה סי' רל"ז ). He may also include some food or a bottle of wine as a way of giving respectfully (כף החיים סקל"ה, פסקי תשובות תרצ"ו אות י').
41. Parent in aveilus. Children may send mishloach manos to their father or mother in their aveilus since that is like paying a debt and hakaras hatov, as above (40). Also, there is no issur to ask a parent who is an aveil how they are doing (שו"ת שבט הקהתי ח"ד סי' קפ"ח ).
