Being Mavater [Foregoing] Gives Life
לעשות כרצון איש ואיש
“To do the will of each man.” (Esther 1:8)
Achashveirosh used the holy utensils from the Beis HaMikdosh at his seudah. The Gemara (Megillah 12a) states, “At that time, a bas kol [heavenly voice] went out: “Generations ago, people died because they used these utensils, and now you are using them?!” The Gemara refers to Balshatzar, the king of Bavel, who died the night he used the vessels of the Beis HaMikdosh. This time, the sin caused Vashti's death.
The meforshim ask, why didn't Achashveirosh himself die like Balshatzar, who died when he used these holy utensils?
It is repeated in the name of Reb Shlomah Kluger zt”l that at this feast, Achashveirosh was mevater. He didn't demand that things be exactly as he wanted. We learn this from the pasuk (Esther 1:8): לעשות כרצון איש ואיש, that at the meal, everyone's wishes were respected and fulfilled. Achashveirosh didn't demand that people do as he wanted. And the rule is that when one is mevater, he is granted life.
A source that vitur gives life is the Medrash (Yalkut Midrashim, Rabbeinu HaKadosh, see also Rosh Hashanah 17a) that Rav Huna the son of Reb Yehoshua ben Levi was niftar (perhaps what is called today ‘clinical death’) for a few days. When he came back to life, he said to his talmidim, “My children, fortunate is the one who isn't עומד על מדותיו (and is mevater). There were malachim who pleaded for me that I should live, but their claims weren't accepted. And then came a malach who told the court in heaven that I’m always mevater, and they immediately freed me from death and granted me life.” We see from this Medrash that being mevater grants life. This merit saved Achashveirosh at this feast.
But Vashti wasn't mevater this time. She didn't let everyone do as they pleased. This is implied from the pasuk: גם ושתי המלכה עשתה משתה נשים בית המלכות – “Queen Vashti also made a feast for the woman in the royal house.” She acted with royalty and power. She acted like a queen, and everyone had to do as she required. Therefore, she got the brunt of the punishment.
We can also explain it in the following way:
Shame and humiliation also save from death, and Achashveirosh was shamed at this meal. His wife Vashti sent a message to Achashveirosh (Megillah 12b): “Listen here, my father's stable hand (Achashveirosh used to work in Nevuchadnezzer’s royal stables): My father could drink with a thousand people and didn’t get drunk. And you drink a drop of wine and become drunk and insane.” This shame saved Achashveirosh from death, and Vashti was killed instead. It says: כלים מכלים שונים, and מכלים can also be translated as shame. The shame saved Achashveirosh.
Another hint is from the pasuk (Esther 1:18): וכדי בזיון וקצף, which Rebbe Yechezkel of Kozhmir zt”l translated as: “The bizyonos and humiliation saved Achashveirosh from Hashem's anger." (R’ Elimelech Biderman)
