RABBI BEN ZION SNEH
It’s a Lonely Existence
We adults have a hard enough time when we feel ourselves put down from others, when our essence gets shaken from extreme criticism. But where does a young child go when most words that they hear from their parents, their teachers, or anyone else in their world are negative to the core?
We all know the rule. One negative comment to five positive statements. But we sometimes get the percentages wrong or worse – we give five negative comments or more to one positive word of praise. There is so much pain in this world. We must resolve once and for all to be careful with our words, lest they increase that pain in those we hold most dear.
The posuk says that Hashem commanded Aharon and the Kohanim “hakreiv eilecha'', bring close the crushed olive oil made for lighting the menorah. The seforim say these words are a reference to how we should act with our fellow man. Bring him closer, understand his plight, and always try to help.
Rabbi Zilberstein relates a story that happened in London a few years back. A member of the Chareidi community was accosted by a teenager. Demanding his money or his life, the Jewish person decided to take a different tack – he might be a boy who fell out of our community years ago, or maybe not, but in any case – he looked straight at the boy and said “you look like a fine young man, with a great future, lots of potential. Let’s sit down, I want to help you. I will help you”
Suddenly the boy calmed down a notch.
“What do you need money for?”
“I want to drink something, not only me – but with my friends.”
The man pulled out a 100-pound sterling note and handed it to the boy.
“Here, take this and enjoy. But remember, I sincerely think that you’re a great person, you will be something in this life, goodness shines from your face.”
The boy sheepishly took the note and retreated into the night.
It’s an amazing story, with an even more amazing ending. The very next day the chareidi man was in shul and recognized a boy going from row to row, looking for someone.
“Sir, I’m so glad I found you here. Here are 50 pounds sterling. I need to return them to you – I did not use the whole 100. I could not keep this money. But just know, you were the first person in my life to respect me. From the day I was born till now I never heard those words – you are good, you will be great; I never heard praise from a parent or a teacher – no one!”
With tears in his eyes, the boy said, “Take this change because you have given me back my soul, and for that I thank you” and then he disappeared.
Remember, “Chaim ve maves beyad halashon”, we have the power to give life with our praise or chas veshalom extinguish the precious light deep inside those we love. Let us always choose to bring light.
Have a wonderful Shabbos!
Written by R’ Avrohom Hillel Reich based on a lesson and story by Harav Ben Tziyon Sneh Shlita
