The Importance of Unconditional Giving
There’s an important yesod that just as Hashem brings difficulties and challenges to a person so that he will introspect and change his ways, so too, Hashem places a person into a situation where he’s compelled to become a giver, even when he receives nothing in return. This is very important and beneficial for a person because it enables him to appreciate how Hashem always gives to us unconditionally, even when we’re unworthy. But if a person insists on keeping score—“I won’t give him because I am angry with him”—he can’t properly internalize this important feature of Hashem’s conduct.
When It’s Extremely Hard to Give Love
We may have friends or neighbors—or even parents—and we’re upset with them. Perhaps we feel they have wronged us in the past, and they didn’t give us what we deserved. And now it’s very difficult for us to show them love, because we didn’t receive love from them when we were younger.
Another person has a struggling child who pushes the boundaries constantly. This child is married and is dressed completely inappropriately—mostly to show their parents that they can do what they want. “They come into my home dressed like this—just to aggravate me?! Do me a favor! Don’t come here if you’re going to comport yourself this way... I don’t need the rest of my children learning from you.”
It is true that it’s difficult to give love in situations like these. But a Yid must understand that the Ribbono shel Olam has placed him into these situations specifically in order to perfect us—so that we should give love to those around us unconditionally. Through this, we will come to appreciate how much Hashem loves us in every situation.
Giving—Even When Our Heart Isn’t in It
How to interact with struggling children isn’t the topic of our discussion here. It requires tremendous wisdom and seriousness... and boundaries often must be established. But we’re speaking about the inner avodah of giving, even when it’s difficult, and how this mirrors Hashem’s unconditional giving to us.
