As a young Bachur, R' Ahron would speak in learning constantly, and he would “Kuch” (boil). When he returned to his sleeping quarters in the wee hours of the morning, he was still going strong. He was told that he’s waking people up. He was a wonderful Baal Middos, and he apologized profusely! “I'm so sorry!” But the next night, he was screaming in learning all over again, full blast.
The Olam laughed, and realized that he was an Ones (at that point). By the way, this same eyewitness told me that everyone knew that he would become the Gadol HaDor. When this Novardoker gave his Shiur, my friend noticed how he threw his jacket off, with typical Novardok Bittul for Olam HaZeh. As for food, he preferred speaking in learning than eating.
STORY
I was once invited to spend Shabbos in an out-of-town community to be M'chazek Yidden over Shabbos. They paid for my plane ticket, and they told me their expectations, which to me was a big stress.
The only reason I went there was because of my Novardok Chinuch in having Mesirus Nefesh for Zikkui HaRabbim, and realizing the greatness of Bizayon.
I never asked anyone if they like my speeches (although sometimes it’s K'dai (worthwhile) to do that, so you can learn from your mistakes). I assumed that I was Matzliach, and I had Bitachon. R’ Wainkrantz Zatzal once told me that when you ask people what they think of your speech, you are advertising your Redifas HaKavod.
So he considered this a Prat (but I never ask). We try to serve only Hashem, and not become dependent upon people’s opinions. You can Chas V'shalom become an: עֶבֶד נִרְצָע (perpetual slave) to: מַה יֹאמְרוּ הַבְּרִיוֹת What will people say?? Hashem is very happy with our efforts, and if we fail, Chas V'shalom, and we have pain and embarrassment, then our Schar is 100x more, since: טוֹב פַעַם אֶחַת בְצַעַר מִמֵאָה שֶלֹּא בְצַעַר a Mitzva done once with pain is more precious and valuable than one hundred Mitzvos that are done without any difficulty. (Chazal)
It is a lonely road to spend a lifetime worrying about people’s opinions, and this itself is embarrassing. It also stops you from having the courage to go all out for Klal Yisroel, and having the Zechus of Zikkui HaRabbim. R' Ahron Kotler Zatzal is a major inspiration in this area, since he was Mafkir his Kavod all his life; they say that the greatest Yeshiva, Bais Medrash Gavoha, is built on his Bizyonos.
