Part II. Listening at Har Sinai
Who Rules Who?
Now to us today, that criticism is not so understandable. We would say, on the contrary, a man who is ruled by good character, that’s our model! And so along comes the Navi and tells us that it’s not so. A man who is ruled by Hashem, that’s called good character. Of course you have to have rachamim. יוָׂ ֲ̆ﬠַמ לָּכ לַﬠ יוָמֲחַר¿ו (Tehillim 145:9) You must have all the good middos. Certainly! And yet, when it’s a conflict between the Word of Hashem and your character — your ideals or your attitudes or your principles — Hashem’s Word comes first.
And that’s what a genuine eved Hashem is, someone who has nothing of his own – „∆ב∆ﬠ הָנָּ̃∆ׁ̆ הַמ ֹוּבַר הָנָ ̃. Like Moshe Rabbeinu, let’s say. Moshe Rabbeinu is called eved Hashem because he had no emotions except what Hashem told him about emotions. He had excellent character, absolutely. And yet when he was commanded הָמָׁ̆¿נ לָּכ ה∆ּיַח¿̇ ‡ֹל – you shouldn't allow anyone to remain alive, what did he do? „≈מ¿ַׁ̆ה ר∆מ‡ֹּיַו – He set out to destroy every one of them. He wiped them down to the last man.
‘ה „∆ב∆ﬠ ה∆ֹׁ̆מ (Devarim 34:5) – He wasn’t a slave to himself, to his character and emotions. He had no emotions except what Hashem told him about emotions. Of course you have feelings and emotions — you’re not a log, you’re a person — but the one who wants to succeed most at being a servant of Hashem is always guiding them, manipulating them, according to what Hakadosh Baruch Hu says they should be.
Bending Nature
Now this is something we don’t have today; it’s very difficult for us. I remember once, a Rosh Yeshiva called me up — I knew him from Europe — and he wanted that I should go with him to a rich man to raise money for the Slabodka Yeshiva. He wanted me to call up and make an appointment to go ask him for money for the yeshiva.
I said, “Please, don’t ask me that favor. To ask people for money, no, I don’t like to do that. Anything else, ask of me, but not this. It’s not my nature. I never did it before.”
So the Rosh Yeshiva said to me, “Suppose you were called to destroy Amalek, to kill an Amaleki. What would you do? You never did it before? It’s not your nature? A servant of Hashem bends his nature to what’s right.”
I didn't do it. I didn't go but I learned a big lesson then. I learned that this is something to strive for. I’m too bashful? You can't have bashfulness if it’s not the right place for it! It’s a good middah, bashfulness – ן∆„≈ﬠ ןַ‚¿ל יםƒנָּפ ̇∆ֹׁ̆וּב (Avos 5:20). But still, when it comes to a mitzvah, you have to be bold for Hashem.
Not only bashfulness. Everything! You have to give up all your private character traits for Hashem! A person cannot be an eved to anything except the ratzon Hashem.
Hashem Before Love
Let's say you have a relative. You love the relative but he's a kofer, chas v’shalom. Maybe he's married to a goy. Then he's not your relative any more! You don’t love him anymore! If you’re an eved Hashem then your love is subject to who Hashem says you should love. People have to break off relations, even with a mother. There's a man who has a mother, an immoral mother. His father is dead and his mother – I won’t say in public what it was, but she was very immoral. So I told him, “She's not your mother anymore.” He gasped. Absolutely, she’s not your mother. He did it. He was a strong fellow. He did it.
Because when it comes to serving Hakadosh Baruch Hu, we have to be servants of Hashem and not servants of our emotions. You feel bad? It’s hard? You have ‘principles’? You have good character and so you don’t want to do that? No matter. That’s the requirement of being a Jew. Whatever you are — whether you’re a patient person, or you’re shy or you’re talkative, or maybe you’re easily excited or you’re more phlegmatic — whatever it is, it’s excellent. But it’s a matter of subjugating it to the will of the Torah.
Kabolas HaTorah: Avdus
That’s included in the Torah we accepted at Har Sinai. I say ‘included’ — the truth is that’s what Kabolas HaTorah was primarily about, to give up our minds, our character and our emotions, to Hashem.
I’ll explain that. You remember when Hashem appeared to Moshe Rabbeinu at the burning bush and told him to go back to Egypt and take out the Bnei Yisroel? So He said like this: “ ֹ̇ו‡ָהָך¿ל ה∆ז¿ו – I’m going to give you a sign, a remarkable sign that will show you that I’m going to carry out all of My promises. What’s the sign? When you’ll come to the Mount Sinai with the people, רָהָה לַﬠ יםƒ ֹ̃ל¡‡ָה ̇∆‡ ןּו„¿בַﬠַּ̇ה∆ּזַה – you’re all going to worship Elokim on this mountain (Shemos 3:12).”
Now, some people think it means you’ll bring karbanos on the mountain — which they did — but that’s not it. That wasn’t the sign of ‘You will serve Elokim on that mountain.’ And so it pays to understand what happened by Har Sinai that was so remarkable that proved that Hakadosh Baruch Hu was carrying out His promise to redeem the Am Yisroel and make them His people forever.
A Nation of Seichel
Pay attention because this is the subject now. When the Bnei Yisroel stood at Har Sinai, you have to know that they were a people who had a tradition of relying on their seichel. After all, seichel, a pristine mind — it means the unspoiled original mind before people started reading literature and corrupting the mind — is a very good source of Torah. And Avraham Avinu therefore had developed a system of living that came out of the mind and his descendants lived according to that system. The Bnei Yisroel listened to the voice of the conscience; they dilated upon it, they preached it, and it became a whole Torah for them — they served Hashem with their seichel.
And so when this nation gathered at the foot of Har Sinai and they were now presented with the Torah, it wasn’t a mob of unthinking people. It wasn’t like the people in Europe who were presented with Christianity. The king, a Roman king, decided to become a Christian and so he made a proclamation to all the dumb Romans: “From now on, you’re all Christian.” And they said OK. That’s how they became Christian. Why not? Mai nafka mina this avodah zarah or that one.
Overcoming Seichel
Now if you have no mind to sacrifice, it’s not difficult. But the Bnei Yisroel had minds. They had minds and consciences that were highly developed through generations of use and they lived by their conscience and nothing but their conscience. The mind was the sole arbiter of what was right and wrong and they lived successfully for hundreds of years like that. And now they came to Har Sinai, and a proposal was being made to them that they’re going to be given a code of chukim and mishpatim, various ways of living and thinking. So they should have hesitated. “ּהָּב בּו ָּ̇כ הָמ - What’s written there? You want to sell us a bill of merchandise? Let’s see the merchandise first.”
But they didn’t say that. The people all spoke up and said “ה∆ֲׂ̆ﬠַנ, we’re going to do everything, עַמ¿ׁ̆ƒנ¿ו, and later we’re going to listen to what You have to tell us. We promise beforehand no matter what it’s going to be, we promise to do it anyhow. We’ll give up even our minds and think according to Your Mind.”
Miracle on the Mountain
A tremendous achievement! You know, when a person accepts the Torah today, let’s say a convert or baal teshuvah, so we don’t have to suspect that when he lived as a goy that he had any big principles. A little bit like the New York Times he thinks. A little bit he also picked up in the bathrooms in the public schools or from the television. But whatever it is, it’s nothing big; he has no real principles. And so when he gives up his gentile ways and is mekabel the Torah, it's not a tremendous sacrifice. It's a good thing and we honor him for coming tachas chanfei haShechinah, but it’s not a big sacrifice.
The Bnei Yisroel, however, they had a whole system of Torah based on seichel, and they were being told now to stop the seichel business and begin the Torah business. And they collide with each other sometimes. Kabolas HaTorah means that the Jew says, “When the Torah comes into direct collision, or even a side collision, with my ideas, my character, it’s only what the Torah says that matters. I’m batul, I’m nothing in front of the mind of the Torah.”
That's called avodah, sacrificing your mind for Hashem. And that was the sign, the miracle, that Hakadosh Baruch Hu said would happen. At that time, they fulfilled the prophecy and became true avdei Hashem. An entire nation of thinkers, a stubborn and thoughtful nation who had lived by their minds should suddenly give up their minds? A miracle! That's called ה∆ּזַה רָהָה לַﬠ יםƒ ֹ̃ל¡‡ָה ̇∆‡ ןּו„¿בַﬠַּ̇.
And that’s what’s expected of the Bnei Yisroel forever. יםƒמָּיַה לָּכ ... ה∆ז םָבָב¿ל הָיָה¿ו ן≈ּ̇ƒי יƒמ – If only this mind of My people that they achieved at Har Sinai should be forever (Devarim 6:26). “That’s what I want, that My people with great and reliable minds should be so loyal to Me that no matter what I’m going to tell them to do or think they’re willing to do it anyhow. They’re willing to give away all of their own considerations, just for Me.” That was the madreigah they reached at Har Sinai and the madreigah that Hashem wants from us always.
Gratitude and Kabalah
Now, how did such a miracle happen that a nation of millions — a nation of people with minds — should say, “Ok, we’ll give up our minds to You”? There’s a reason why it happened. In one word, it was gratitude. The Bnei Yisroel were so overwhelmed with gratitude to Hakadosh Baruch Hu for all that he had done for them. He had taken them out of Mitzrayim and given them freedom, He had punished their oppressors, and He gave them kesef v’zahav too.
And so when they came to that mountain not only were their bags loaded with wealth but their hearts were loaded with gratitude and love of Hashem. They were so happy with their newfound liberty they were thinking what can we do for Him? We’ll give our lives for Him!
But not only our lives. The biggest sacrifice that Hashem wanted of them was not merely that they should be willing to give their lives for the service of Hashem, not merely they should be willing to keep kosher. Yes, it's a big job to have kosher kitchens, milchig and fleishig, Shabbos, Pesach, and everything, but all that is a minor thing. The major sacrifice Hashem wanted was they should give up their own ideas and think like Hashem.
The Straightjacket for the Sane
And that was the mistake of our great tzaddik, Shaul. Shaul certainly was a man who served Hashem. No question. We ourselves would call him eved Hashem without any question. But the Tanach wants us to know that there was something lacking. Because Shaul had in his mind a certain distaste at destroying Amalek, it means he was harking back to his own
