R' Yonasan Blau Shlita told me that he remembers how R' Yehuda Leib Nekritz Zatzal and R' Shlomo Figer Zatzal would have Vaadim for years with only 2-3 people in attendance, and it didn’t bother them in the least! They also didn’t care if their Divrei Torah were appreciated or not. They were happy and were real.
They understood how Redifas HaKavod dominates people in every move they make. And despite the possible temporary pleasure of getting Kavod, in the end, it can Chas V'shalom hurt and even destroy the person, since he is hopelessly dependent upon people’s opinions [and you can never always make everyone happy!].
Despite their greatness in Torah, they were mainly involved in Mussar like Chovos Halvavos for hours daily.
When everyone becomes broken from Bizyonos, Novardokers are Davka B'simcha, they deal with Bizyonos like a fish in water. I heard a story about a Novardoker who left Novardok to learn in Grodno. He didn’t pass the Bechina and he was rejected. Instead of leaving, he stayed. There was no food available for him, and no bed.
A Novardoker doesn’t mind; Gashmiyus is not his thing anyway. So he slept on the floor in the Yeshiva for two years. He learned day and night with tremendous Hasmada, without worrying for food. There is no Yi'ush in Novardok, but there is loads of Bitachon! Sure enough, righteous women brought him special food, which was much better than what any Bachur had in Yeshiva.
When the Yeshiva finally recognized his greatness, and wanted to officially accept him, he said: “I'm okay the way it is”. He became a tremendous Talmid Chochom.
I was once invited to spend Shabbos in an out-of-town community to be M'chazek Yidden over Shabbos.
They paid for my plane ticket, and they told me their expectations, which to me was a big stress. The only reason I went there was because of my Novardok Chinuch in having Mesirus Nefesh for Zikkui HaRabbim and realizing the greatness of Bizayon.
I never asked anyone if they like my speeches [although sometimes it’s K'dai worthwhile to do that so you can learn from your mistakes]. I assumed that I was Matzliach, and I had Bitachon. R’ Wainkrantz Zatzal once told me that when you ask people what they think of your speech, you are advertising your Redifas HaKavod. So, he considered this a Prat [and I never ask]. We try to serve only Hashem, and not become dependent upon people’s opinions. You can Chas V'shalom become an: ֶﬠ ֶב ִנ ד ְר ַצ ע everlasting Eved to: תוֹיִרְבַּה וּרְמאֹי הַמ What will people say?? Hashem is very happy with our efforts, and if we fail, Chas V'shalom, and we have pain and embarrassment, then our Schar is 100x more, since: טוֹ ַפּ ב ַﬠ ַא ם ַח ְבּ ת ַצ ַﬠ ִמ ר ֵמ ָא ֶֹש ה ֹל ְבּ א ַצ ַﬠ ר One challenging Mitzva is more precious than one hundred effortless Mitzvos.
It is a lonely road to spend a lifetime worrying about people’s opinions, and this itself is embarrassing. It also stops you from having the courage to go all out for Klal Yisroel and have Zikkui HaRabbim. R' Ahron Kotler Zatzal is a major inspiration in this area, since he was Mafkir his Kavod all his life; and they say that the greatest Yeshiva BMG is built on his Bizyonos. ְז ֵמָא וּניֵלָﬠ ןֵגָי וֹתוּכן ! ולָרוֹגְו וֹקְלֶח יֵרְשַׁא
