The Way the Ribbono shel Olam Wants Our Hishtadlus
When we speak about the great divide between proper hishtadlus—which is warranted and necessary, and executed amid emunah that the Ribbono shel Olam is guiding the person to the fulfillment of his mission—and the wrong and erroneous ותחבולות עצות, schemes and tactics, which entail escaping reality and seeking to “go it alone,” we can understand it well with the example of a bachur in yeshivah:
The Bachur Who Wants to Escape Yeshivah
Often it happens that a bachur is filled with complaints against his mashgiach, against his rebbeim, and against the entire yeshivah administration. “It’s not merely a subpar yeshivah... it’s not even a yeshivah at all,” he intones. “It is a place that ruins the bachurim... I must leave the place immediately!”
Other Bachurim Are Just Fine
But when you begin to investigate the matter a bit, you discover that things aren’t exactly as this boy characterized them. In fact, the bachurim who adhere to the yeshivah’s rules and sedarim are happy and content with the mossad, and they find a listening ear among the staff members whenever they need it.
Overall, looking at the big picture, we will see that the talmidim who stay within the confines of the yeshivah’s requirements—who did what they were supposed to, who showed up when they were supposed to, and who showed humility and respect to their mentors —did very well in the yeshivah.
“If You Arrive at 10:45, You’ll Be Unhappy”
This particular boy had a problem, and we’re not blaming anyone for this, but it is a fact: He has a hard time waking up in the morning... this is his nisyaon. Every day, he showed up to seder at 10:45... sliding into the beis medrash at a quarter to eleven. Let’s say that he has negotiated with the mashgiach to be allowed to skip Shacharis in yeshivah. But when it comes to chavrusos, it is a more difficult situation. If you come at 10:45, you will be left with a less-than-optimal choice of chavrusos.... Learning with a weaker chavrusa, he automatically began to schmooze in the middle of learning, and the mashgiach had to intervene, because he was disturbing others. When he complained about his chavrusa, he was told, “You know what? We will give you a great chavrusa for one week, and we’ll see how it goes.”
L’maiseh, he arrived that week a quarter after eleven, and understandably, the chavrusa didn’t last very long.... Things went downhill from there, and his father had to become involved... he had to sign a commitment to better adhere to the sedarim—until he became filled with complaints, and reached the “conclusion” that “this is no yeshivah....”
Escaping Through “Schemes and Tactics” Will Not Help
Now there are two paths in front of this boy: There’s the path of ותחבולות עצות—escaping to another yeshivah, because it is the easier path, rather than reflecting on what’s really going on. But he will soon learn that the ותחבולות עצות are of no avail. He will soon conclude that this new yeshivah is also “no yeshivah.”
The second, and proper, way is to do hishtadlus—to resolve to adhere to the yeshivah’s requirements for six months, and then reevaluate whether the yeshivah is really as bad as he’s making it out to be. This path may be מר תחילתו, bitter in the beginning, but its ending is sweet—the precise opposite of the path of ותחבולות. עצות
We’re All in Yeshivah
Each of us finds ourselves in a “yeshivah” in This World. And let’s be honest: It’s not just any yeshivah... but a yeshivah where they demand a great deal—because the accommodations are exceptional.
It is like this: In the world of kollelim, when a yungerman shows up for a few hours of the sedarim, he is paid a basic salary. But in elite kollelim, where they cover all his life’s expenses, and even help him marry off his children, much more is demanded.... Understandably, some portion of the stipend is taken off for coming late, and so forth.
The Ribbono shel Olam has provided us with a yeshivah, where everything is provided. The Aibishter says: If you attend My yeshivah, I will cover your entire livelihood. But now one must adhere carefully to the zemanim of the “yeshivah.” They take off some percentage of the stipend for lack of adherence to certain things. They take off some more of the stipend if a person misses Korbanos and Kaddish at the beginning of davening.... And when a person engages in hishtadlus for parnassah, they take off money when he comes late to work or engages in idleness during work... this is how Hashem’s Kollel works.
Discuss Matters with the “Rosh Kollel”
The Ribbono shel Olam says to the person: You do everything you need to do, and if you see that it doesn’t work out, try improving... come talk to Me. Go to the Rosh Kollel and discuss the issue with him. He will surely take your situation into account. But don’t try to wiggle out of the situation.
Don’t avoid confronting the situation. Don’t get into a war with the Rosh Kollel... all because you can’t be honest and admit that you came late.
Humility Is the Only Solution
It’s very difficult for a person to have the simple humility to admit, “I wasn’t successful because of my own shortcomings.” He would rather escape to the ותחבולות עצות, to get his hands on the money in all sorts of ways, which will be of no avail in any case.
How often do we hear of people who struggle with a problem, such as shidduchim, for example. They’ve tried everything, including many ותחבולות עצות, but to no avail—until they had no choice but to make a reckoning of their deeds and actions. They looked deeper and harder, and they discovered that they once hurt another person. And as soon as they asked forgiveness from that person, the ישועה arrived. We hear such stories constantly.
The First and Only Option
There are so many examples for when a person should realize: “I am struggling now with a problem. This is a clear sign that I am not properly adhering to the ‘Kollel schedule.’ I must improve, and I will discuss the matter with the ‘Rosh Kollel’ with humility!
This is the simple understanding of the Chazal, who exhort us, במעשיו יפשפש עליו באים יסורים אדם “הרואה, hen a person experiences suffer�w ing, he should make a reckoning of his actions.” When you’re waiting for a ישועה to arrive, the first course of action should be to reflect upon what needs rectification. Don’t take the path of ותחבולות. עצות Don’t run away just because it’s difficult for you to do the necessary and proper hishtadlus.
It’s Not the Circumstances; It’s You
We Can Serve Hashem Always and Everywhere
The pasuk tells us, לבבך בכל אלקיך ה' את ואהבת, you should love Hashem, your G‑d, with all your heart (Devarim 6:5). Rashi cites an incredible principle from the Midrash on these words: המקום’ על חלוק לבך יהא ‘שלא, your heart should not be at odds with [the plan of] Hashem—a person’s heart should be at peace with whatever Hashem has in store for him.
But in the holy sefer Beis Aharon, Rebbe Aharon of Karlin tells us a deeper peshat in the name of his predecessor, Rebbe Shlomo of Karlin, Hy”d: The word מקום can refer to the Ribbono shel Olam, to be at odds, to argue and disagree with Hashem’s plan, chas v’shalom. But מקום also means “a place.” Don’t argue with the place where you are—and don’t determine that you cannot serve Hashem in this place.
The Beis Aharon explains that there are people who find it difficult to serve Hashem—and they immediately blame their circumstances and their surroundings. But the pasuk reminds us, לבבך: בכל אלקיך ה' את ואהבת remember that even when the circumstances aren’t perfect, you’re expected to serve Hashem properly.
Circumstances and Location Are No Impediment
The Beis Aharon continues with the following incredible words: For it is not the place that causes an impediment for avodas Hashem, for since everything is from Hashem Yisbarach, and it is the will of Hashem that a person should be in this place at this time; therefore, it must be clear to Him that this location will not impede the person in his avodas Hashem.
But, the person will say, you’re telling me that this place doesn’t cause problems in my avodas Hashem?! The fact is that it is this way! My circumstances are holding me back! Says the Beis Aharon very deep words: האדם מצד הוא המניעה רק, the real impediment is on the part of the person!
One may complain: How can you tell me that it’s not the circumstances and the surroundings? I will show you clearly that my neighbor bothers me every day and holds me back! The answer is that the very fact that your neighbor has the ability to get to you is also your issue. It’s not necessarily that you did something to that neighbor. Sometimes, there’s something that you must rectify and reflect upon. If you had worked on yourself properly, if you had thought about it properly, if you had spoken about the matter with the Aibishter—you would have seen that all the surrounding problems disappear—because you have repaired what needed repairing.
The Bird Must Cleanse Itself
The masters of mussar tell us a mashal regarding our desire to escape our undesirable situations. Once, there was a bird that emitted an unpleasant odor. She ran from place to place, all the while complaining to the other birds: What’s happening today? All the roofs are so filthy... the stench is unbearable!
But the other birds told him the truth: It seems that you went into the trash, and you’re shlepping around the odor wherever you go. Clean yourself off, and you will see that the odor will be gone!
Similarly, people think that the impediments come from the surrounding factors. But the Beis Aharon tells us that the real impediment is on the part of the person. It may not be easy to change our mindset and rearrange our attitudes, but this is what the pasuk is addressing when it says ...ואהבת to love with all your heart.
If you truly change yourself, you will see that it’s no issue to remain right where you are, surrounded by your life circumstances, and, right there, serve Hashem. You were so certain that the impediment was in your surroundings, but now you see that it was really all about you.
When Shul Gets on Your Nerves
Sometimes, a person davens in a certain shul on Shabbos, but he can’t take the place. It gets on his nerves. This neighbor’s child sitting next to him doesn’t allow him to daven... he keeps moving the table... the davenings are terribly long... anyone who knows me knows that I’m not made for such long tefillos. During the week, I can manage, but on Shabbos, it’s unbearable. It’s hot and stuffy... I need an airier place. I would prefer to daven in a small shul with ten people. My entire Shabbos is all about escaping my situation.
When You Change, Everything Changes
This person seems to have legitimate issues with his surroundings. But it’s very possible that this person must internalize that Shabbos is a time to give thanks to Hashem for all the kindness that he is given. This Yid should take two hours before Shabbos and compose a list of all the things for which he must give thanks from that week alone. He should work on finding the great kindness that Hashem did for him that week. Perhaps if he did that every week, he wouldn’t even notice his neighbor’s child! The long davening and the other issues wouldn’t even bother him at all!
We’re not asking you not to sleep on Shabbos, and we’re not asking you not to enjoy your Shabbos food... we’re asking for one thing: On Shabbos you should do what you need to do. When Shabbos arrives, one must make the effort not to think about his worldly concerns, and focus only on לה' להודות טוב, it is good to praise and thank Hashem! To thank and thank again! Try this for a few weeks and then tell me if the long davening bothered you as much. Perhaps, after a few weeks of this, you will be so taken with the light of giving thanks; you’ll complain that Nishmas was too fast! There’s no longer a need to escape!
Location Is No Obstacle
One of the tzaddikim related that when he stood at the front of the shul, he felt the yetzer hara disturbing him, so he moved down a table. But he still felt the impediments. So he moved down another table... until he reached the back of the shul, and then he realized that it was never about the place... the yetzer hara has a plan to disturb him wherever he is—and he promptly returned to his original seat.
This is what we must internalize. No impediment is dependent on this place or that place... it’s all about the person; is he prepared to change his mindset and his attitude or isn’t he?
Changes in Business with Serenity, Not Urgency
The Proper Attitude When Traveling Distances
Of course, the Ribbono shel Olam needs some people to journey to distant places in order to accomplish great things in those places. Shochtim must travel to provide kosher meat to Yidden. There are many instances in which it is the ratzon Hashem for you to travel faraway—on the condition that it’s not in the category of ותחבולות! עצות
Sometimes, a person feels a pull to learn shechitah, and then an opportunity in that field presents itself. That’s called normal hishtadlus.... He isn’t escaping anything; he is serenely doing what really seems to be Hashem’s plan and mission for him.
Furthermore, sometimes a person must journey to faraway places simply to learn the truth: that ותחבולות עצות are futile. Until he’s tried it, he may feel a nagging feeling that things could have been different had he engaged in ותחבולות עצות—but by going to a distant place, he can now confirm that it doesn’t help. Thus, his journey had a most important purpose indeed: he learned that only proper hishtadlus and emunah can help him!
Leaving a Workplace
A Torah Yid must always be prepared to examine his motives. Why do I want to change jobs? How many people lament having left their previous workplace—despite having had a nice parnassah there—only because they sought more... and now they regret their decision.
This person said to his previous boss, “You think I need you? I’m no longer your slave... you won’t tell me what to do. I’ll open my own business... I’ll manage on my own!” This person goes and opens a business that provides the same service, which he learned when he worked in the previous place....
If a person does this in order simply to escape his difficulties, then it’s very understandable if it doesn’t work: He thought he could escape the Ribbono shel Olam through ותחבולות. עצות Such a person will, understandably, not see success in his endeavors.
There’s One Path: Submitting to Hashem
It’s possible that even forty years later, a person won’t admit this. He will say that he really did succeed... but there happened to have been other expenses that came his way. I couldn’t remain working with my old boss in any case.... He keeps running, trying to escape reality....
But the Chovos HaLevavos tells him: Don’t run away! Your parnassah is prepared for you. All you need is a little humility and submissiveness to the Ribbono shel Olam, and you will have a sweet life.
Sometimes, a person walks around with aggravation. He’s in a place that doesn’t respect him: “No one looks at me. I am looking to live in a place where I can influence others and be respected.”
This person should know: If the Ribbono shel Olam arranges for something new to come his way, then it’s possibly a sign for him to move on. But so long as a suggestion doesn’t come his way, he can run everywhere but he will get nowhere.
The Angel Held Him Back for His Own Good
The Rashbam in Parashas Vayishlach says an incredible thing. When Yaakov Avinu was running away from Eisav, it was considered a lack of proper emunah—according to his lofty level—for he had been assured by the Ribbono shel Olam that he would be safe.
For this reason, the angel of Eisav came and forcibly held him back so he shouldn’t be able to escape—as the Rashbam says: The Malach detained him so he shouldn’t be able to escape and thus merit to see the fulfillment of the promise of the Ribbono shel Olam that Eisav will not harm him. With this, the Ribbono shel Olam was sending him a message not to run anywhere. Stay right here, and you will see that Eisav won’t lay a finger on you!
Obstacles for Your Good
Sometimes, the Ribbono shel Olam does a similar thing for a person. This Yid has strengthened his emunah and bitachon, but at the last minute, he lost himself... and he seeks ותחבולות עצות to escape his situation. But the Ribbono shel Olam will stop him. And this is the greatest chessed from Hashem: He doesn’t allow the person to escape. It is the greatest kindness that you didn’t succeed in your new place. Because the Ribbono shel Olam wanted to fulfill His promise to you—and show you that there’s nowhere to escape but to Him.
Sometimes, a person will notice that he is mamash encountering obstacles from Heaven that he should fail. Indeed, the Ribbono shel Olam does not want him to proceed. This person has told himself that he is doing normal hishtadlus—but the Ribbono shel Olam knows that he deviated too much into ותחבולות עצות, and He is holding him back from going there. This person called someone who assured him that everything would be taken care of—and this brought him calmness and assuredness. He sought to escape the situation, on a mehalech of ותחבולות עצות, without the Ribbono shel Olam, R”l. And what happened was that the Ribbono shel Olam interrupted his escape plan so that he should return to Him and see how He will take care of those problems.
How to Avoid Problems in the First Place
In the kapitel of טוב כי לה' הודו, which we recite on Friday nights, the pesukim discuss the four who must give thanks after they emerge from their pain and suffering (prison, illness, etc.). The pasuk tells us that after these people cried out to Hashem, they were then helped, and thus they give thanks: אדם לבני ונפלאותיו חסדו לה' יודו, let them give thanks to Hashem for His kindness and His wonders to the children of man.
The kapitel concludes with the words ה' חסדי ויתבוננו אלה וישמר חכם מי, whoever is wise, let him note these things and they will comprehend the kindnesses of Hashem. Explains the Ba’al Shem Tov: Whoever is wise and seeks to guard himself and avoid these terrible experiences in the first place, the solution is to comprehend and meditate upon the kindnesses of Hashem.
