TROIS RIVIERES
The Double Bar Mitzvah in Trois-Rivières... Quebec
By Joannie Tansky
The title is intriguing because Trois-Rivières, located in the Mauricie region of Quebec, is probably one of the last places you would expect to be celebrating a double Bar Mitzvah. And yet, not only did it happen, but a quite a few of us from the MTC went for Shabbos to be a part of it.
Aaron and Amanda Spiro, along with their three children, Dovid, Miriam and Chaim went to Trois-Rivieres three years ago - via MTC’s L’Chaim Project - to find the Jews living there, if in fact there were any. At that time, there were no synagogues and zero Jewish infrastructure.
Slowly but surely, they found one, then another, and then a few more Jewish souls, all with their own unique story of why they were living in Trois-Rivières. Each time the Spiro’s went to there for a holiday or event, more and more Jewish souls would find their way to their Chabad house. In the past three years they have succeeded in creating a small, but tight-knit Jewish community.
When Alexia Met Amanda
The story of the two Bar Mitzvahs offers a snapshot of Chabad in Trois-Rivières, starting with Alexia Ptito’s encounter with Amanda, a story in itself.
Amanda’s father, Lawrence of blessed memory, passed away October 12, 2024. One of her friends came to pay a shiva call and told her the following story:
She was at another shiva earlier that evening and saw a woman who she did not know paying a shiva call to a mutual friend. She inquired as to who this woman was and found out that her name was Alexia Ptito, a Jewish woman living in Trois-Rivieres.
What, you are saying to yourself, are the chances? The rest of the story is what you are now reading.
Alexia has four children – two daughters, Maika and Marly and two sons Mannek (Shalom) who is 17 years old and Mael (Yakov) who is 15 years old. Mannek and Mael, who are the sweetest young men, never had a Bar Mitzvah.
We learn that everyone has a pintele yid – that little spark of Judaism that can never be extinguished no matter where we live. It lies dormant until something or someone activates it. Enter Aaron and Amanda.
Back to Trois-Rivieres
Despite being in such a wilderness of Judaism, thanks to their mother, these two boys knew they were Jewish. When he turned thirteen years old, Mannek, the eldest, asked his mother why he was not having a Bar Mitzvah. The response was simple and truthful: As there was no Jewish community or infrastructure in Trois-Rivières, she had no idea where or how to make that happen.
At their first meeting, Aaron put tefillin on the boys and began to speak to them. It was then he learned that they wanted a Bar Mitzvah but thought it was too late. Aaron gently explained that it is never too late have a Bar Mitzvah and that he and Amanda would make it happen.
Which brings us to the past Shabbos where about 25 of us traveled to Trois-Rivières to be a part of this extraordinary celebration.
Friday Night
The Chabad house in Trois-Rivières is situated in a condo overlooking the St. Lawrence River. The main room is one big space, which includes the kitchen, dining room, living room, the synagogue, the Aron Kodesh which holds the Torah, plenty of chairs and tables and even plants to create a mechitza.
We were a group of about 45 people, the women ushering in Shabbos with a moving candle lighting ceremony. The singing during the service was over the top. Everyone wanted to make this Shabbos very special for Mannek and Mael.
During the meal, Alexia spoke. Very emotionally, she recounted her story, while looking at all of us sitting in Trois-Rivières. She said she could simply not believe that complete strangers would come to be a part of her sons’ entrance into Jewish manhood. Little did we know that her family would be the ones to inspire us.
Other local people spoke during the meal, each one explaining how they found the Spiros or how the Spiros found them and how grateful they were to be reconnected to their Jewish heritage.
The Bar Mitzvahs
Shabbos morning, we were treated to a sumptuous breakfast before davening began at 10:15 am. In the schedule for Shabbos was a chassidus class before davening. A few minutes into the class a very eclectic man walked in... with his dog Lulu and Lulu’s bed.
Jules Darmon hails from France and is a very interesting member of the Trois-Rivières Jewish community, beginning with the many tattoos on his face amongst other places. In the you-can’t tell-a-book-by-its-cover department, it turned out Jules was highly knowledgeable, (self-taught), learning with Aaron on a regular basis, commenting very precisely on what we were learning.
Once the service began, Alexia sat in the women’s section, her boys with the men.
As an aside, the Chabad house has a beautiful photo of the Rebbe hanging on the wall. As I sat davening beside Alexia, I looked up and saw the Rebbe smiling down at what was transpiring in this small room in Trois-Rivières. This, I thought to myself, was exactly the Rebbe’s vision. To find every Jewish soul in every corner of the world.
As each of her sons was called to the Torah, Alexia’s face was literally glowing. Each boy separately said the blessings over the Torah before and after the reading. We threw candies and then danced twice – the men with Mannek and Mael and the women with Alexia.
It was the quintessential Shabbos moment - the very essence of why we had come to Trois-Rivières: to celebrate together as Jewish men and women.
Jews are not strangers; we are one family and watching Alexia’s sons embrace the responsibilities that Jewish men take upon becoming Bar Mitzvah was at the same time so simple yet so real. Those who were there saw for themselves that we truly are one people with one soul.
At the end of Shabbos we told Alexia that it’s her turn to visit our community and with Hashem’s help, that will happen sooner than later.
On behalf of those who were there from MTC, the Putermans, Shizgals, Tinks, Dahans, Yossi Shaffer, Tanskys and Avi New – we thank the Spiros, Alexia and her family for allowing us to be a part of this unique and very moving Shabbos.
As Annette Dahan wrote after Shabbos, “We went to inspire but we left inspired on a natural Holy high.”⬢
