A Mother's Devotion
There was a couple in Vilednik who simply could not get along. In fact things reached the point where the woman left her husband. Later, facing pressure to be reunited, she told Reb Yisroel of Vilednik that if the tzaddik promised that she would be blessed with children as great as he was, she would return to her husband.
“Is that so?” asked the tzaddik. “Very well. If you will be like my mother, you will no doubt have children like she did.”
And with that he shared two stories of his righteous mother:
Once while lighting the Shabbos licht she cried so much over the candles that they extinguished. When she opened her eyes and saw what had happened she was so pained that she broke down into further sobs. A miracle occurred and the candles were relit.
The second story:
His mother was widowed at a young age and had to toil laboriously to support her five children. Soon the work caught up with her and she fell ill. As she lay in bed, distraught over how she would now feed her children, she asked young Yisroel to hand her a huge sefer from the shelf. The book was a Rif, a classic compendium of all the halachos in the Gemara. She had no understanding of its contents or what it was at all, but she knew it was a holy sefer. She took the book in her hands and said, “Holy letters! Rise up before the Ribbono shel Olam and daven for me, that I should recover and be able to feed my little children!” And she soon recovered.
(שמועות וסיפורים ח"ב מעשה קי"ב)
In a talk addressed to Nshei U'Bnos Chabad, the Rebbe once pointed out that the task of establishing the home as a Mishkan for HaShem begins in the heart of the woman of the home.
When a home is run by an akeres habayis whose heart is a Mishkan for HaShem, and her conduct follows the directives of the Torah, this is reflected in the conduct of her husband, sons, and daughters. Their thought, speech, and action are likewise permeated with the goal of creating a Mishkan for HaShem.
When that happens, even the mundane vessels in the home become permeated with kedushah and Elokus, just like the Mishkan in which HaShem dwells. And this brings peace and achdus in the home, amongst all the family members.
(תו"מ תשמ"ז ח"ג ע' 345)
Like the daughters of Tzlafchad, the women and girls of every generation are entrusted with the task of endearing Eretz Yisroel to themselves and to their families, and to create "Eretz Yisroel" wherever they live. This is accomplished through a lifestyle of Torah and mitzvos, practiced with chassidishe liveliness.
Doing so does not require miraculous feats. One only needs to reflect every day on whether her conduct is in harmony with the way a Yiddishe home and a chassidishe home should be conducted, and whether it is appropriate for Yiddishe daughters, all of whom are likened to Sarah, Rivkah, Rochel and Leah.
When a woman begins to think in this direction, she will be able to establish a new home for HaShem.
(תו"מ חי"ז ע' 66)
The Rebbe once explained that a woman is called the akeres habayis since she is the ikar (the main component) of the home. It is clearly observable that the primary education of young children and even infants is accomplished not by the father, melamed, rosh yeshiva, or the rov – but by the child's own mother.
(תו"מ תשמ"ח ח"ד ע' 341)
Tender Loving Care
In a yechidus in תשי"ג (1953) with the leadership of the Chabad women of Worcester, Massachusetts, the Rebbe likened the tender care given by a mother to that given by a nurse:
When a person is ill, he consults a doctor. The doctor, who understands the physical workings of the body, diagnoses the nature of the illness and prescribes treatment. If the case warrants it, he recommends care in a hospital, where it is the doctor who prescribes the treatment, but the nurse is the one who usually administers it. The nurse, who is generally a woman, can with tender patience sweeten a bitter-tasting medicine and make a most difficult medical procedure more tolerable.
Similarly, to secure a remedy for spiritual ills, one must consult the person who, like the doctor, the expert for the body's needs, knows and understands the needs of the soul, as explained in the Torah. However, the expert who diagnoses and prescribes the treatment is not necessarily the one who is best suited to administer it. Thus we come to the role of the spiritual "nurse"—an individual with the compassion, sensitivity and patience that the task requires.
As is the case regarding physical medicine, the woman has been blessed with a character that makes her optimally suited to serve as a spiritual "nurse"— one who draws her fellow Jews close to Torah with kindness, gentle benevolence, and love.
A woman's strength is such that she can prevail upon others to fulfill the precepts, including those which, on the surface, might seem difficult or "bitter-tasting"—with willing acceptance and joy.
(מרשימת היחידות)
The Zohar writes: A woman should light Shabbos candles joyfully and willingly, for it is a great honor for her. Moroever, it brings her the zechus of having holy sons who will light up the world with Torah, yiras Shamayim and peace, and grants her husband long life.
Rabbeinu Bachaye explains that the time of lighting the Shabbos licht is opportune for women to daven and ask to be blessed with sons who will shine in Torah, for the Torah is also called "light."
((זהר בראשית מ"ח ע"ב, רבינו בחיי יתרו י"ט, ג)
Consider
What makes a woman the main component of the home?
