The Landaus were concerned about their daughter Miriam’s growing frustration in finding her intended match. Miriam was 21 years old, a successful teacher in a school in Yerushalayim, and very popular amongst her circle of friends in their Bayit Vegan neighborhood.
A Neighbor’s Suggestion
When Rabbi Landau mentioned the latest suggestion proposed by a neighbor, Miriam simply did not feel like meeting the young man. Not that she wasn’t interested in getting married; she just wanted to make sure that the young man was “in the ball park” of what she sought in a future mate. She did not want to experience another evening of disappointment and frustration. Miriam did not turn down their neighbor’s suggestion... she just asked her father if he could informally meet the young man first.
“You already know in your sleep what kind of boy I am looking for,” Miriam told her father. “Meet him first, and if you think it’s worthwhile for me to meet him, then I will...”
Miriam then reminded her father, “And please don’t forget to make sure that he doesn’t have peyos hiding behind his ears!” Rabbi Landau smiled; he knew his daughter’s likes and dislikes well. He felt Miriam’s suggestion was fair, and called their neighbor to arrange to meet the young man at his yeshivah.
First, however, Rabbi Landau asked for information about the boy – Yehoshua Mandel – and found that “on paper” all the facts seemed to fit perfectly into the prototype of whom Miriam wanted to marry. Rabbi Landau met Yehoshua in the yeshivah dining room, and the two went outside for a walk. They spoke about a variety of topics, and after twenty minutes, parted ways.
Noticed that Yehoshua Had No Peyos Behind His Ears
Yehoshua left to attend his afternoon seder. Rabbi Landau waited on the sidewalk as Yehoshua turned to enter the yeshivah. Perfect, he thought to himself, as he scrutinized the boy’s head – no peyos behind the ears.
A week later, Miriam and Yehoshua met. Six weeks later, they were engaged; the wedding took place two weeks before Pesach. The following Sukkos brought the young couple to the Landaus. On the first night of Yom Tov, as Yehoshua left to learn in a local yeshivah, Rabbi Landau noticed tufts of hair growing behind his ears. He couldn’t help but ask Miriam about this – after all, it had been SO important to her NOT to marry a boy with peyos tucked behind the ears.
Miriam burst out laughing, as she explained: “Yehoshua has had peyos behind his ears since he was a young boy. The day he was to meet you for the first time, he needed a haircut. Normally, his roommate in the yeshivah gave him haircuts. But that day his roommate wasn’t there, so Yehoshua went to a barbershop. Before he noticed what was happening, the barber had accidentally trimmed one of his peyos! The barber apologized, but it was too late. Yehoshua asked the barber to trim the other one as well, as he was too embarrassed to meet you with only one.
Once I Got to Know Yehoshua, I Realized How Silly I’d Been
“He kept the peyos short until after the wedding, as he would have looked unkempt trying to grow them back. After the wedding, when Yehoshua told me he would grow the peyos back again, I had to laugh. It was something that mattered so much to me before we met, but mattered so little after we were married. I had always associated longer peyos with overly serious, somber personalities. Once I got to know Yehoshua, I realized how silly I’d been.”
Hashem arranged for Yehoshua’s roommate to be elsewhere on the day he needed to have his hair cut prior to meeting R’ Landau; for the barber to trim one of his peyos so that Yehoshua had the other one trimmed in order to even out the error. If his peyos had been long as usual, Miriam would have never agreed to meet him! (Einei Hashem)
Reprinted from the Parshas Yisro 5784 email of The Weekly Vort.
