Question: Every where I turn I keep hearing that it is Adar and we need to increase in happiness. But what is happiness anyway? Is it just a good mood? Also, whatever it is, I don’t find it so easy to be happy.
Answer: Rav Chaim Shalom Deitsch explained the difference between simcha and a good mood through a story that took place outside 770 (Central Chabad Headquarters) on Simchat Torah.
While the energetic dancing took place inside, a man stood outside smoking a cigarette. A Rabbi approached him and encouraged him to go inside and join the dancing. “It’s Simchat Torah,” he said, “we need to dance and be happy.”
“I am perfectly happy gazing at the sky with my cigarette,” said the man.
The Rabbi explained, “I have no doubt that you are enjoying yourself. However, true simcha is active. A person is inspired to dance, sing, give, talk; to go beyond their normal way of being.
In regards simcha it is taught, simcha poretz geder, simcha breaks through barriers. Simcha is not just another feeling; simcha truly changes a person.
In explaining the transformative effect of simcha, Chassidus provides the analogy of a miser at the wedding of his only son. His happiness inspires him to greet and give to everyone - even those he normally dislikes.
Trust in Hashem’s goodness and Divine Providence is intimately connected to happiness. The realization that everything is from Hashem and is good, leads to an inner calm and happiness that is not dependent on external stimuli.
On the flip side, the belief that “things should be as I want,” leads to frustration, sadness, anxiety, worry, etc. The person is unable to let go, to relinquish control. As a result, the person lives on an emotional rollercoaster, measuring everything by their own subjective assessment of what is good or bad.
It is written in Isiah, 55:12, "For with happiness shall you go out..." The Tzemach Tzedek interprets this verse thus: "For with happiness you can go out—and bid farewell to all your afflictions and problems!" Happiness is more than just a good mood. Happiness is transformative. It enables a person to break through their limitations and attain their greater potential. When we are able to relinquish control, to “let go” and trust in Hashem, the natural result will be happiness.
Aharon Schmidt, marriage & individual counseling, [email protected]
