Rabbi Yosef Shlomo Kahaneman ZT”L (the Ponovezher Rav) was once approached by his son with a question regarding a personal custom that the Ponovezher Rav had observed for years: eating alone on the first night of Rosh Hashanah. The son, curious about the origins of this practice, asked, “Is there some place that this custom is stated in Halacha? I looked everywhere and I could not find it.”
The Ponovezher Rav explained that this Halacha is not recorded anywhere. He shared with his son the origins of his custom, which dated back to his youth. As a young boy studying in a town away from home, he had received an invitation from someone to join him for a meal on Rosh Hashanah. The Rav was unsure about the host’s level of Kashrus observance which made him uncomfortable accepting the invitation for a meal, especially one that would be eaten on Rosh Hashanah.
At the same time, the Ponovezher Rav did not want to embarrass his host by telling him the real reason for declining his invitation. Searching for a thoughtful and sensitive way to turn the man down, he said, “Thank you very much for the invitation. I have a custom that for the first night of Rosh Hashanah, I eat alone.” The host, unaware that no such custom existed, accepted this explanation and went on his way.
The Ponovezher Rav concluded his story to his son by explaining, “Since that day, in order that the words which came out of my mouth should not be a lie, for the past 50 years, I have eaten the first meal of Rosh Hashanah alone.” This personal practice became a lifelong custom, serving as a testament to the Ponovezher Rav’s commitment to truthfulness and sensitivity toward others.
