Another question brought up by the commentaries is that it is forbidden to have marital intimacy during the time of a famine (Ta’anit 11a). Rashi (on Gen. 41:50) mentions that, for this reason, during the famine in Egypt, Yosef was not intimate with his wife. As such, how were Yitzchak and Rivkah intimate when there was a famine in the land? (See Rashi on verse 12 that there was a famine in Gerar as well as in Israel.)
Several explanations are offered:
- Not a Jewish Issue
Yitzchak and Rivkah were the only Jewish family in the world, and since they were not lacking in food, it was not a famine that affected the “Jewish people” and as such they did not have to refrain from intimacy (Tur). - Procreation
The halacha states that a couple that has not yet fulfilled the mitzvah of Pru URvu (Be fruitful and multiply) may be intimate during the time of a famine (O.C. 574:4). As such, since Yitzchak and Rivkah did not yet have a daughter and had not yet fulfilled this mitzvah (see Even Ha’Ezer 1:5), they were allowed to be intimate (Bartenura). - Local Famine
The famine in the time of Yitzchak only affected that immediate area as opposed to the famine during the time of Yosef which affected the entire world. It is only necessary to refrain from intimacy (according to this opinion) during a global famine (Riva).
The rest of this article will discuss the matter of a husband and wife showing physical affection to each other in public:
Rav Bena’ah, the Grave Marker
The Talmud (Bava Batra 58a) recounts how Rav Bena’ah was marking graves so that people could refrain from becoming tameh (ritually impure) by walking over them. When he came to the Me’arat HaMachpeila (the burial spot of Avraham and Sarah), Eliezer the servant of Avraham, came out to greet him. (Eliezer is one of the righteous people who lives forever [Rashbam].) Rav Bena’ah asked what Avraham and Sarah were doing at that time. Eliezer answered that Avraham was lying in Sarah’s lap and she was examining his head. So Rav Bena’ah asked him to tell them that Rav Bena’ach wishes to enter. Eliezer told him that he may enter, because it is known that there is no evil inclination in the next world, so it is not considered inappropriate for him to see Avraham and Sarah in this position.
The Nimukei Yosef says that we see from this story that under normal circumstances it is not appropriate for a married couple to display physical affection in public.
This ruling is codified in halacha by the Rama who writes (Even Ha’Ezer 21:5), “Some say that one should not do affectionate things even with his wife, such as to inspect her head for lice, in front of others.” The Taz explains that there are two reasons for this prohibition. One is that it is simply immodest for a couple to show any type of intimacy in public. And secondly, that such behaviour can lead others to thoughts of a sexual nature.
Dancing with One’s Spouse
Rabbi Menashe Klein was asked about an event where there was mixed dancing but that it was (mostly) married couples dancing with their spouses (Mishne Halachot 4:71). He explained that mixed dancing with other women is strictly forbidden by Torah law and even dancing with one’s wife improper for the following three reasons:
- It might lead to dancing with one’s wife even when she is a Niddah.
- It could lead to other people dancing with women who are not their wives.
- It is not proper for other men to see one’s wife dancing as this can lead to improper thoughts.
In connection to this last point, he cites the Talmud in Avodah Zarah 18a where it recounts how the daughter of Rabbi Chaninah ben Tradyon was once walking before the nobles of Rome. They said to each other, “How pleasant are the steps of this young woman.” Upon hearing this, she immediately took care to keep walking in such a fashion that her steps would continue to be pleasing to them. Eventually she was taken into captivity and was sold to a brothel. This was considered to be a punishment for that incident. (See the Talmud there that her brother-in-law, Rabbi Meir, rescued her from the brothel.)
As such, we see that a woman should not publicly engage in an activity which might cause men to gaze at her in a lustful manner.
