להקב"ה אשר קדשנו במצוותיו והבדילנו מן העמים וצונו לקדש אשה המותרת לנו ולא אחת מן העריות – “This berachah was enacted, to give praise to Hakadosh Boruch Hu for the fact that he commanded us and separated us from the nations of the world, and commanded us to be mekadesh a woman that is permissible to us and not one of the aroyas.” See the Ritva (7a) who also learns it is a birchas hashvach, although he learns like the Ra’avad that the berachah should be recited after fulfilling the mitzvah.
Based on the above, according to the Rambam and Ra’avad that the birchas erusin is a birchas hamitzvos then the chosan should hold the ring, and according to the Rosh and Ritva who learn that it is a birchas hashvach then he doesn’t need to.
The Opinion of the Pri Megodim Not to Interrupt Between the Birchas Erusin and Act of Kiddushin
The Pri Megodim (Intro to Hilchos Berachos, ois 14) writes:ראוי שלא להפסיק בין הברכה לקידושין, ומיד אחר הברכה יקדש ושלא להפסיק בחנם – “It is fitting not to interrupt between the birchas erusin and the act of kiddushin, and immediately after the berachah, one should perform the act of kiddushin and make sure not to interrupt for no reason.” Based on this, according to what we mentioned above from the Mishnah Berurah that one should hold the fruit/mitzvah item in his hand in order to recite the berachah as close to the eating/mitzvah as possible, then there is good reason for the chosan to hold the ring. Even according to the second reason that one should hold the fruit/mitzvah item as it helps him concentrate better, perhaps this also applies by the chosan and the wedding ring, unless we say that the very fact that the chosan is standing under the chuppah is enough of a reminder to help him concentrate and he doesn’t need any additional reminders.
Avoiding Unnecessary Interruptions by Birchas Hashvach
Even if we say that the birchas erusin is a birchas hashvach, and that it is clear from the Ohr Zaruah (Hilchos Krias Shema, siman 25) that by birchas hashvach there is no need for עובר לעשייתן, for the berachah to be recited close to the act of the mitzvah, who says that we shouldn’t be concerned about making unnecessary interruptions. In Hilchos Pesukei Dezimra the Mishnah Berurah (51 s.k. 4) brings from the Pri Megodim: “If one spoke idle chatter between boruch she’omer and hodu perhaps he needs to repeat boruch she’omer due to the interruption, and even one word is an interruption.” We see that even by birchas hashvach making unnecessary interruptions is a problem, therefore, perhaps this another reason to require the chosan to hold the ring.
Birchas Erusin Is Not Incumbent Specifically on the Chosan
R’ Akiva Eiger (Yoreh Deah, siman 1) discuses birchas erusin by a chosan who is deaf, and how he should go about performing kiddusin, as such a chosan can’t simply listen to the berachah being recited by the mesader kiddushin. R’ Akiva Eiger suggests that perhaps birchas erusin isn’t an obligation specifically incumbent upon the chosan, therefore, even if he doesn’t hear it, it is ok.
The Sha’arei Zevulun (Inyonei Chuppah Ve’Kiddushin) based on this R’ Akiva Eiger and various other proofs, proves that birchas erusin is not the chosan’s obligation, therefore, we can’t bring any proof from pesukei dezimra. By pesukei dezimra which is the individual’s obligation, one must be careful not to interrupt, however, by birchas erusin which is not the chosan’s obligation, it doesn’t matter if there is an interruption.
Many Poskim Maintain That One Should Be Careful Not to Interrupt Between Birchas Erusin and the Act of Kiddushin
Lechatchilah one should be careful not to interrupt between the birchas erusin and the act of kiddushin. Because of this, R’ Moshe Sternbuch (Shu”t Teshuvos V’Hanhagos 4:287 s.k. 8) writes that the chosan should designate witnesses before the birchas erusin, to avoid making unnecessary interruptions between the berachah and the act of kiddushin. And some say that it is also best that the mesedar kiddushin asks the chosan the questions he asks about the ring and the witnesses before the birchas erusin (Tel Talpiyos, Kovetz 64, pg. 60).
Although lechatchilah one should avoid making unnecessary interruptions between the birchas erusin and act of kiddushin, the Shu”t Noda B’Yehudah (Even HaEzer, siman 81) speaks out clearly that even if there is an interruption unrelated to the act of kiddushin, we don’t repeat the birchas erusin.
Argument for Why There Is No Need to Hold the Ring During the Birchas Erusin
Some want to say that there is a big difference between a berachah on a fruit or mitzvah item and our case of the ring, as by a fruit or mitzvah item we can argue that one should hold the item he is making the berachah on i.e. the apple, shofar, lulav etc. as that is the mitzvah/berachah item, however, by the case of kiddushin the ring is not the mitzvah item, it is simply the item that is being used to help carry out the mitzvah. Strictly speaking one could be mekadesh a woman without a ring, provided he provides her with some sort of benefit, i.e. he dances in front of her (if it is worth a perutah). No one ever said that the ring is a:חפצא של מצוה שצריך להתנהג בה כתשמישי מצוה – a mitzvah item that one needs to treat like an item used for a mitzvah, just like we never find that money given to tzedokah is considered a mitzvah item. If so, there is no reason to require holding the ring whilst reciting the birchas erusin.
However, regardless of whether the birchas erusin is a birchas hamitzvos, or birchas hashvach, perhaps it is still fitting for the chosan to hold the ring in order that he has better kavonah during the berachah, and to reduce the time of interruption between the birchas erusin and act of kiddushin, especially as the Rambam holds that it is in fact a birchas hamitzvos.
However, from the Rishonim it is clear that we aren’t so worried about the interruption, if it related to the act of kiddushin, as the Be’er Heitev (Even HaEzer 27 s.k. 1) brings from the Shu”t Maharam Mintz (siman 109, pg. 537): “Immediately, after the birchas erusin without making any interruption, the one who made the berachah should take the ring in his hand, and he should choose two witnesses from the good people of the community, people who are certainly kosher to give testimony ... And he should show the ring to the witnesses so that they see that it is worth a perutah.” The Maharil (pg. 466) writes a similar thing. We see clearly that it is ok to have an interruption between the birchas erusin and the act of kiddushin if it is related.
However, we don’t have clear proof that the chosan wasn’t holding the ring, as it could be that the chosan was holding the ring, and the Maharam Mintz is saying that the mesader kiddushin should then take it out of the hand of the chosan.
Conclusion
By birchas hamitzvos and birchas hanhenin we find that one should hold the item he is making a berachah on when reciting the berachah. However, we have no proof from there that a chosan should hold the ring when the mesader kiddushin recites the birchas erusin. Certainly according to the opinions that the birchas erusin is a birchas hashvach, there is no need, like the Prisha writes in regard to holding the havdolah candle, that since it is a birchas hashvach there is no need to hold it, however, even if it is a birchas hamitzvos, the ring is not the mitzvah item itself, rather, it is the item which one uses to give the women benefit of at least a perutah and through this she become mekudeshes.
There is room to argue that the chosan should hold the ring so that he has better kavonah during the birchas erusin, however, most chasanim know very well what they are standing under the chuppah for and why the birchas erusin is being recited, and it is not like a berachah on an apple which one says many times throughout his life, therefore, perhaps the extra act of holding it in his hand to help with kavonah is not needed.
Even according to the reason that we hold the mitzvah/food item to avoid unnecessary interruptions, it is clear from the Rishonim that anything that is needed for the kiddushin, such as appointing witnesses (even though it could be done before) is ok to do after the birchas erusin. Therefore, certainly taking out a ring from its case to perform kiddushin is also not considered an unnecessary interruption. I saw brought down that one time the Shevet HaLevi zt”l was mesader kiddushin and he told the chosan to hold the ring in his hand during the birchas erusin (cited in Apiryon LeShlomah, Perek 7, siman 11), however, Chazal have already told us that we can’t learn halachah from stories (Bava Basra 130b), especially when all the poskim, rishonim and achronim make no mention of such a halachah, which if it was required is something they would certainly mention, therefore, it seems that this is not the halachah and the chosan doesn’t need to hold the ring during the birchas erusin.
