By Sarah Chana Radcliffe
"I want to hurt the child who is hurting my child - but he's ALSO my child!"
When one child is hurting another, it's important to demonstrate the parental power of protection. All of your children look to you to keep them safe. However, since the perpetrator is also one of your children, you must provide this protection compassionately. This is no small trick because your own parental instincts are triggered when anyone - even one of your own children - hurts one of your children. We usually go into full gear, becoming almost abusive to the young perpetrator in defense of the helpless victim. Of course, this strategy is very harmful to the child who is needing proper education and it can even lead to more victimization of the one who we are trying to "save." As almost all children perpetrate or experience sibling violence, the best strategy is to be PREPARED for it. Take time to IMAGINE yourself walking firmly and QUIETLY into such a scene, efficiently putting an end to aggression, redirecting behavior and providing preventative education. Watch this mind-movie repeatedly until you feel confident you can carry out these actions in real time. Then go for it.
