By Sarah Chana Radcliffe
There's a part of life that none of us wants but none of us can escape.... Going through trauma - though a universal experience - is extremely isolating. No one can really "get" your pain. No one has the words to make it stop hurting. No one, not even someone who went through the same sort of trauma, understands the ramifications for YOU. Even so, it's important for you to help your wounded parts by letting them tell YOU their stories. Listen in - to your own heart. Hold it gently in your own hands. Take care of it with gentle nurturing and care. Now is the time to tend for healing, not to fulfill the expectations of others. Carry on the best you can with necessary tasks and take what you can off your plate. Rest is your gift to your ailing soul. Privacy and stillness can help and therapy can speed and deepen recovery. Do whatever you need to do for you - and soon, life will start again.
If they aren't learning it from YOU, then they're learning it from their friends.... Let the kids know what you are doing to combat your stress, as this shows them what they should do as well. "I'm feeling stressed - I'm going to exercise/do some yoga." "I'm feeling stressed; I'm going to chill with a friend." "I'm feeling stressed - I'm going to go work on my hobby for awhile." If you don't present the healthy options, don't be surprised when they come up with whatever their friends are doing to relieve stress - i.e. "I'm feeling stressed - I'm going have a drink/smoke some pot/play 6 hours of video games."
