Mesirus Nefesh Not to Shame a Fellow Jew
Rav Elimelech Biderman told how Rav Boruch Ber was once present at a derosha. The darshan went on and on – and Rav Boruch Ber had an urgent need to leave. What should he do – get up in the middle? He simply could not bring himself to do so. He needed to leave so badly that the strain and anxiety caused the blood to rush to his face and made him appear red. The darshan, incorrectly interpreting Rav Boruch Ber’s anxiety as excitement over the derosha, decided to give Rav Boruch Ber even more reason for excitement and pleasure! So he continued with his derosha and even made it lengthier and more complex – and went on...and on. Finally, the derosha ended and the darshan left the room. By this time, the strain and anxiety over the long wait was too much for Rav Boruch Ber, and he fainted! His friend, Rav Herman, revived him and asked if he should fetch medical care! Rav Boruch Ber explained why no doctor was needed.
“Why didn’t you just get up and leave in the middle if you needed to leave so badly?!” asked Rav Herman.
“How could I?” exclaimed Rav Boruch Ber. “Had I left in the middle of his derosha he would have been hurt; he and others might have misinterpreted my actions; perhaps people would think I disagreed with the content of his derosha and he would have been ashamed!”
That was Rav Boruch Ber – he would rather have suffered anxiety and stress, not to mention physical discomfort, or even danger to his health, all in order to prevent another Jew from suffering shame or embarrassment!
