UFARATZTA
Isaac and Rebecca came from two diametrically opposed backgrounds: Isaac was born and raised by saintly parents, probably the most selfless people in the generation. Isaac himself agreed to become an offering to Hashem. He was raised on the altar and, in a sense, he never left that altar. He knew not of corruption, deceit or even selfishness. Nothing but holiness enveloped him throughout his entire life. But the true joy in Isaac's life sprung from Rebecca – a young woman raised in a morally depraved environment, in a family notorious for its lowliness and dishonesty, in a society of pagan promiscuity. Whether you believe in "nature" or "nurture," Rebecca should have remained unrefined and animalistic. But little Rebecca had a tremendous sense of humor! She understood that the calling of man was to defy nature and to transform reality. Thus, Rebecca turned out to become, as the Midrash defines her, a "rose among thorns." From a mere self-centered animal, she became a "Rivkah," a soul linked to others in kindness and love, attempting to "plow" an earthly world and transform it into a Divine orchard. Rebecca represents the human animal elevating itself from its natural quagmire to enter the living waters of life's wellspring and sharing it this others, even those who are still in the level of an animal (a camel), which is how Abraham’s servant knew she was the suitable spouse for Isaac.
The Glue
“Isaac was jesting with Rebecca his wife.” This was the secret of their marriage. Isaac and Rebecca, as the Bible relates, had plenty of arguments; some of these arguments had dramatic historical implications. But never did these differences of opinion manage to tear them apart. Never did Isaac and Rebecca lose their loyalty and trust to each other. Why? Because they never forgot that the purpose of life – and of marriage – was to laugh! To make the impossible a reality. To unite two people who by nature are likely to remain apart.
The same must be true in our marriages as well. When you are experiencing discord with your spouse, and predictably you are about to get into a fight, you must realize, that the purpose of marriage is laughter, making the unpredictable happen. “Naturally, we ought not to get into a quarrel; but let us surprise ourselves, let us find a way of transcending our natures, and make our relationship work.
And when you observe deficiencies in your spouse that require much work, instead of becoming frustrated and resentful, you ought to realize that it is precisely this pattern – a rose emerging from many thorns – that grants a marriage tremendous laughter and delight. Laughter is born only from transformation.
Laughter
Rabbi YY Jacobson
