It’s also important to invest in the rebbi’s feelings, because everyone, adult and child, feels good about being praised and appreciated. In this case, the father should take the opportunity at the PTA to tell the rebbi how much his son enjoys being in his class, and how much he, the father, appreciates the special attention he is giving his son.
He can then add, “You’ve probably already realized that my son is a more sensitive type, and that he needs encouragement a bit more often than other children. I heard such good things about you — how you really go the extra mile to give each child what he needs. I really admire the effort you put into my son, and I can assure you that it’s paying off.”
The father can even add, “My son doesn’t stop talking about you when he gets home. He thinks you’re an amazing rebbi and he looks forward to cheider every day.”
It’s important not to give the rebbi the impression that he’s being told how to do his job, even if he is young and inexperienced.
Of course, if the rebbi isn’t receptive to the praise and subtle suggestions, the father still has the option of speaking with the menahel. In general, however, many problems can be solved by using the strategy of Aharon Hakohen and improving the relationship between teacher and child with praise and encouragement. (This doesn’t have to wait until PTA — it can be done throughout the year, as well as through the phone.)
