OLD MUSSAR VS. NEW MUSSAR
Old Mussar vs. New Mussar
- “All day he talks about Moshiach. Why doesn’t he learn something?”
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“At least he talks about Moshiach, and maybe this is the best he can do!” - “He helps the whole world, but his own family he never thinks about.”
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“Maybe he’s not cut out to be a family man, and at least he does what he’s good at. He’s a real Tzaddik!” - “Why doesn’t he ever learn Mussar?”
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“Maybe Mussar doesn’t work for him?” - “Why doesn’t he ever help his wife?”
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“There must be a piece of the puzzle that I don’t know about.”
All criticism is usually your own problem, since you don’t have an Ayin Tova to be Dan L'kaf Zechus. And this applies to yourself, as well, i.e., BE DAN YOURSELF L'KAF ZECHUS, that you’re also not guilty. Did you ever learn in a Mussar Yeshiva?? Or have a Moreh Derech and M'chanech?? No!! So it’s not a Tayna on you! Of course, there are exceptions to all this, and sometimes it’s a totally different story.
Dovid saw good in his worst enemies; like Shaul, Avshalom, and Avner, etc. When Shim'i ben Gera cursed Dovid, calling him a No’ef, Mamzer, Rotze'ach, To'eva, etc. (Chazal) he didn’t kill him, but instead he used this Chutzpa positively; and Shim'i became Shlomo’s Rebbe. Shim'i was the perfect Rebbe for a Ben-Melech, since such a person isn’t afraid to give him Mussar. And indeed, right after Shim'i’s death, Shlomo married Bas Paroh. And by saving Shim'i, Mordechai was born, and Mordechai used this fearless Chutzpa against Haman HaRasha. For this reason, Chazal say that Mordechai is called: אִּ ישַַ יְּהוּדִּ י Ish Yehudi (i.e., from Shevet Yehuda, even though he was really from Binyamin) since Dovid (who was from Shevet Yehuda) was the cause of Mordechai’s existence. A true Yehudi is a Baal Hoda'ah (grateful person) who is constantly thanking Hashem, and seeing good in all “bad” situations and people.
Old Mussar is often (but not always) behind times, and it can be a big Aveira and a source of pain and Hezek (damage). Gedolei Yisroel have said this. You need a Rebbe to guide you.
