A pregnant woman lapses into a coma. She awakens and frantically calls for her doctor. "You had twins, a boy and a girl. They're fine," he says. "Your brother named them."
Oh, no, the new mother thinks. He's an idiot. Expecting the worst, she asks, "What's the girl's name?" "Denise," the doctor says. Not bad, she thinks. I guess I was wrong about him. "And the boy?" "DeNephew."
A job application asked me to list three references. I wrote in Wikipedia, Google and the Oxford Dictionary. I didn’t get the job.
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?”
“Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep telling them it’s for you.”
A man went into a seafood restaurant and asked for a lobster tail. The waitress smiled sweetly and said, “Once upon a time there was this handsome lobster...”
How do celebrities keep cool? They have many fans.
