If a woman discovers that she has lost her kesubah, and it is late at night, must she inform her husband, or is it ok for her to keep quiet. The purpose of the kesubah is שלא תהא קלה בעיניו להוציאה – “In order that it shouldn’t be too easy for the husband to send away his wife “, if he doesn’t know it’s lost, surely there is no reason to be worried?
The answer to the above question would seemingly depend if the issur to stay together without a kesubah is on the husband or if it’s on the wife. The lashon of the Gemara: אסור לאדם שישהא את אשתו – “It’s forbidden for a man to stay with his wife” would seem to imply that the issur is upon him. However, the Mishnah in Kesubos (54b) says: “Anyone who agrees to give to a besulah less than 200 zuz, and a widow 100, הרי זו בעילת זנות – is equivalent to having forbidden relations”. From the Mishnah it seems that the issur is the act of relations, and it would seem that the issur is on both the husband and wife.
The Shu”t Ein Yitzchok (Even HaEzer, Mahadura Kamma, siman 67, anaf 3, s.k. 22) discusses a case of a man who got married and never knew that his wife had committed an act of zenus beforehand. Being that she wasn’t a besulah, the marriage was a mekech to’us [mistaken sale]. The Ein Yitzchok was asked by someone who knew about this, if the woman is obligated to tell her husband that every time they live together he is violating an issur derabonon by mistake.
The Ein Yitzchok in the middle of his Teshuvah proves that there is an issur for a woman to live with her husband without a kesubah from the Chelkas Mechokek (68:15). The Chelkas Mechokek writes, that if a husband argues that his wife is a beulah (and the kesubah is only 100 zuz) and she argues that she is a besulah (and the kesubah is 200 zuz). Since according to her words they aren’t allowed to live together unless they have a kesubah of 200, even though the husband holds he only needs a kesubah of a 100, and according to him there is no issur involved, since according to her there is, there is an issur to live together. We see, that even if the issur is only because of the woman, there is still a problem.
The Ein Yitzchok also discusses the shailah if one is obligated to stop his friend from transgressing an issur derabonon beshogeg. According to the Nesivos (234:3) there is no issur in such a case. However, many argue, and hold there is an issur. L’halachah he concludes, that even according to the Nesivos she must tell her husband.
We see from the above, that a woman also has an issur to live with her husband without a kesubah, therefore, in our case when the woman knows the kesubah is lost, it would seem that she must inform him.
See also Teshuvas V’Hanagos (1:702) who also rules like this.
