A life story about a special person who lives among us. This is my little brother. I am writing about "my little brother Tuvia", I am 75 years old, and every brother under this age falls into the definition of "my little brother".
My parents immigrated to Israel in the 1950s with five children, and four more were born here. We were poor and destitute. We lived in the center of the country, my father didn't acclimatize and couldn't find a livelihood anyway, and we lived in real poverty. The family grew, nine sons and daughters without the evil eye. I was the second. Tuvia was born prematurely, at a time when most premature babies would not survive, and those who did, suffered from developmental problems. Tuvia was slow and dreamy. Luckily for him, he was born over 70 years ago, at times when children were not yet categorized by all kinds of names. But we just knew that he was slow, and as he grew we could see his difficulties.
At school he would sit undisturbed and not study, the friends loved him. He would run to get them the pills, and they would praise him, not as a survivor but as a partner; and let him be with them, perhaps because he knew how to listen to them and ask questions that indicated that they had been heard. When he finished school, most of his friends said goodbye and went to good yeshivot. He couldn't get accepted anywhere and stayed at home. He would help with the housework, my father with the shopping, my mother with the cooking, and in between he would talk to us, be interested and most of all, compliment. And he would do it in such a wonderful way.
When he was 16 years old, I went shopping with him in the market. We loaded baskets with goodies, and when we finished shopping, we realized that we had missed the last bus. Tuvia asked me: "Do you have money left for a taxi?" "Taxi" was only for the rich, convinced me that Dad wouldn't be angry with us and that if he did, he would give out of his pocket money. Agreed. We made a taxi stop.The driver explained everything we didn't know and didn't care about: politics, wars. We reached our destination, and then my brother said to him: "You know, you're a really good driver." "Are you kidding me?" the driver asked. "No," my brother was really hurt, "you're really driving well, I saw how you held the steering wheel with one hand and how you maneuvered there between the blue car parked and the sidewalk, you see I'm not just saying. You're not just a driver. You're a champion driver." The driver looked like someone who had just won the lottery. "Listen, little guy," he said, "I've been driving a lot of people every day for ten years. In my life, they didn't say a good word to me about my work." "They probably don't understand driving," Tuvia comforted him. I asked him, "Sir, how much do you have to pay?" He thought for a moment and then changed his mind and said, "You don't have to. I like this sweet guy, the old man's ride."
A few more years passed. Some of us got married, two even bypassed him, and in the end Tuvia also found his match, a good and smart woman, more peppery than him, with a small problem. Their relationship was something we all admired. They were both incredibly devoted to each other.
For several years Tuvia wandered around and did nothing, but somehow he took care of the house's needs. Don't ask how food and clothes were, people who came across his kind words and compliments simply cared about his family's welfare. He was very successful with his children, partly because he had connections with the teachers. He would make such publicity for every teacher, take the trouble to go to the principal and tell him about it, talk to the people who prayed with him in the minyan, with the neighbors, with his parents, with his children, with his brothers and sisters, and tell everyone how patient he was, how much he treated each and every child, what a pedagogue and educator he was. Tuvia really believed in that. And you know why, because that's what they became after being so glorified. When you know that someone is pinning so much hope on you – you don't disappoint them. Everyone gave Tuvia everything they could, and the result is that his children always thrived and succeeded, whether in their natural talent or due to the investment made in them by their teachers, who wanted to be worthy of Tuvia's compliments.Tuvia would illuminate people's lives, even if it was a simple, not to say miserable, life.
Over the years, Tuvia began to make a living. Brokering employees for institutions, suppliers for offices, offices for newspapers, newspapers for advertising, advertising for advertisers, advertisers for cheap products and more. He simply knew tens of thousands of people, and knew what each of them was doing and how well he was doing, and like an apartment broker who praises the apartment and makes you want to buy it, and he would do it with products, services, apartments, jobs, businesses and especially people. And his peppery wife in her wisdom knew how to direct it, she was smart enough not to harm her husband's innocence and purity, so she managed the whole matter from home.
Tuvia got rich. Yes. He was really rich and wealthy. His wise wife, the woman of valor, knew how to save every penny and buy assets for pennies, renovate them with a fleet of craftsmen who loved Tuvia, and would have done it for free if they had not been forced to accept payment, and turn them into gold mines.
I found a name for Tuvia's profession: "Macher." There was a Macher whose connections were all over the world. The premature baby, the dreamy child, the slow guy, did it; he succeeded in life, and thanks to him, our family went from poor to affluent. When I think about it, it's all because of his ability to compliment, to give a good word, to do good to people.
A few years ago, Tuvia fell ill. He was hospitalized for a period of time, during which time he managed to charm the entire hospital staff, from the most senior doctor to the cleaner. Everyone was treated by him, and he was interested in all of them. He praised and praised them all. This caused everyone to give him and in fact the entire department a dedicated and unique attitude. One of the professors said: "This man changes our staff, he makes everyone care and happy in their work." Tuvia did not bother the staff. After a short illness, he passed away, at the age of 66. In his last hours, he was surrounded by his family, brothers and sisters, and we all sang to him the song, "Who is the man who desires life, loves days, to see good, to keep your tongue from evil, and your lips speak deceitfully, turn away from evil, and do good, seek peace, and pursue it."
This is the story of my brother Tuvia, who like him life is not bright, but because of his ability to create a reality of goodness, to shine on people – they restored their light to him, and thus he overcame his shortcomings and difficulties and succeeded in establishing a blessed generation of righteous people, succeeding and prospering. I think about this ability, why doesn't everyone have it? Are we blind to understanding that giving is ultimately receiving, that the ability to compliment changes the world for the better, including your own? Why don't we know what a good word can do, what a good sentence and what a whole speech of praise can bring about for others, and ultimately for all of us?!
