It states (Shemos 2:12) וָכֹה כֹּה ֶןוַיִּפ. Yosher Divrei Emes (Shemos) writes that the pasuk is hinting that one should always say כה, "it was so decreed from heaven." וָכֹה כֹּה ֶןוַיִּפ, no matter what occurs, the good and the opposite, accept it because כה, this is how Hashem destined it to be.
We quote:
"Every person should have the attribute of כה. Regardless of whether what occurred was good or bad, he should say it is from heaven. If it is good, השמים מן כה, this is how it was decreed from heaven. And if chas veshalom it is bad, it is also השמים מן כה, as decreed from heaven. This is the way kosher Jewish people live."
A simple person was niftar in Radin. He wasn't known to be a tzaddik or a talmid chacham, so no one thought it necessary to tell the Chofetz Chaim. When the Chofetz Chaim heard that this simple man was niftar, he was upset that they didn't tell him. He wanted the zechus of going to this man's levayah.
When asked why he was so upset, the Chofetz Chaim replied, “Behold it states (Mishlei 17:3) 'ה לִבּוֹת ֵןוּבֹח, "Hashem checks the heart." Only Hakadosh Baruch Hu knows what is happening in a person's heart. We can't know who is a tzaddik and who isn't. However, Chazal (Brachos 5.) tell us ממרקין יסורים אדם של עונתיו כל, that yesurim remove all aveiros of man. The niftar was a baal yesurim, so he was certainly clean from aveiros and a tzaddik. It would, therefore, be a merit for me to partake in the final honor of this tzaddik, to attend his levayah."
The Beis Yosef had a malach (also called a Magid) teach him Torah and mussar; the lessons are written in Magid Meisharim. It states in this holy sefer (beginning of Vayeshev) that the magid (the malach) told the Beis Yosef that his third wife (שלישי זיווג) would have a baby boy. Naturally, she couldn't bear children, but she endured yesurim, and in this merit, heaven would bless her with a son. The yesurim were (a) the Beis Yosef once was תורה למקום גולה, went to exile to study Torah, and the separation wasn't easy for his wife. (2) When he returned home, he fell ill, and his wife had to take care of him. This was also very hard for her. But with the merit of these hardships, she was able to bear a child. According to the rules of nature, she couldn’t bear children (in a previous gilgul, she was a male, a talmid chacham) but had her salvation because of the yesurim she endured.
We quote from the Magid Meisharim, "She merited this due to her good deeds, and because of the tzaar that she endured when you [the Beis Yosef] went to galus and was distant from her. She also had tzaar when she took care of you when you were ill. This is because a person gains so much from the yesurim that come to him when he accepts the yesurim with יפות פנים סבר, with a happy attitude, as joyous as someone who merited to perform a mitzvah. This is because when the body suffers yesurim, the tumah becomes weaker, and the soul becomes purer and cleaner from the tumah. Therefore, you will have a male child, as I promised you."
The Chofetz Chaim (Shemiras HaLashon, Shaar HaTevunah ch.8) explains how a person can reach the level of being ביסורים שמחים, to be happy with yesurim: "This middah [of being happy with yesurim] comes to a person when he has a holy nefesh and he has pure emunah in Hashem that He watches over everything he does. As it states (Iyov 34:21) כִּי ִׁישא ֵידַּרְכ ַלע ֵינָיוע, 'For His eyes are upon man's ways,' and Hashem does everything for his benefit."
Turning Din to Rachamim
There is a principle and a way to turn a harsh judgment into mercy – rachamim. When one remembers that whatever he is going through was handpicked and planned by Hashem, that, in itself, will turn Elokim (Hashem's attribute of strict judgment) into Havayah (Hashem's attribute of kindness).
