Parshas Vaeira opens with Am Yisrael on the verge of despair, after Pharaoh refuses to release them from slavery. It is then that Hakadosh Baruch Hu tells Moshe Rabbeinu, “Ani Hashem,” adding that He did not make Himself known to the Avos with this Name.
Rashi explains that the Avos did not recognize Hashem through His middah of amitus—consistent truthfulness, because some of the promises Hakadosh Baruch Hu made to Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov have yet to be fulfilled. In his sefer Imrei Noam, the Dzikover Rebbe explains these pesukim using a ma’amar Chazal in Sotah (49b), where we learn that during the Ikvesa deMeshicha, “the truth will be lost.”
While tzaddikim are deeply attached to emes and passionate about living a life of truth, the Imrei Noam writes, in the current state of the world, it is not always possible for them to openly display this, due to the reshaim who are often powerful and dangerous. This is why, even if we see someone previously thought to be a tzaddik speaking well of a rasha, we should not conclude that he must not be a tzaddik after all. It is simply that he has no choice due to circumstances which sometimes require us to “bury” the truth.
This is also something we see with the Avos, the Imrei Noam adds. Before entering Mitzrayim, Avraham Avinu was obligated to present Sarah Imeinu as his sister, “as otherwise they will kill me.” Yitzchak Avinu allowed Eisav to believe that he loved him, and Yaakov Avinu became Lavan’s “comrade in deceit” while living in his home.
Moshe Rabbeinu, however, was different. He feared no one, and Hashem chose him to reveal to him His middah of amitus—the ultimate emes.
One can perhaps suggest another reason why the passuk tells us that Hashem did not reveal this middah of amitus to the Avos. Maybe, this is hinting to us that when it comes to our children, it’s important for us “avos” not to use the strict measure of emes when being mechanech. Sometimes, the unvarnished truth needs a few coats of paint before it can be presented to our children, because the truth alone can be too harsh to accept and grow from.
Often, parents worry that sugar-coating the truth with what they feel are undeserved compliments will lead their children to think that they’re just fine as they are (even though they clearly are not) and to stop trying to improve. Quite the opposite is true! Giving your child (or anyone) a good feeling about himself will only encourage him to justify your faith in him and will give him the tools he needs to do even better.
