Hashem speaks only to Moshe, and Ahron hears from Moshe. Ahron HaCohen is Kodesh Kodoshim, and the father of the greatest Shevet in Klal Yisroel, the Cohanim. Yet, only Moshe is Zoche that Hashem should speak directly to him. We know nothing about either Moshe or Ahron, and their greatness is way beyond us. Yet, notice how Davka Moshe who had so, so many problems in his hesitancy to do his: שְׂ לִּ יחוּת mission, is Zoche, and not Ahron.
In last week’s Parsha, Moshe told Hashem four different times that he’d rather not do the: לִ שְ יחוּת mission, for all kinds of reasons. And in this Parsha again, we have Moshe saying that since the Yidden hadn’t listened to him, how will Paroh listen to him?? And he explains: וַאֲ נִּ י עֲ רַ ל שְׂ פָ תָ יִּ ם ו יב “I’m simply not capable!” This episode is repeated twice, and it appears like a Chazzara (repetition)! If the Torah repeats something (especially a story), then it’s extremely important for us to hear it!
Again and again, the greatest human that ever crossed the planet earth, is told by Hashem to do something, and he says: “I can’t!” He will soon become the greatest success in the history of mankind, and he will raise the level of Emuna and Bitachon for all of us forever and ever, since he caused Yetzias Mitzrayim. Yet, look how he appears so incapable, and so lacking in Emuna and trust in Hashem, Chas V'shalom!
And the holy Torah wants us to keep hearing again and again about what appears to our small Sechel as a Chisaron in Emuna and Bitachon, Chas V’shalom, and a Chisaron in self-esteem! Davka this person remains our greatest example to follow, and we are M'chuyav to believe in his greatness as a basic in our whole Yiddishkeit.
We can suggest that the Torah wants us to see how much frustrating and unending difficulties a person can have in Avodas Hashem. This is a lesson for all those nervous and depressive types, and all those hopeless “cases” in Torah or Kedusha, Bain Adam La'chaveiro, Ka'as, Shalom Bayis, or facing the world and Zikkui HaRabbim, etc. If you are having extreme difficulties, maybe you are the future Moshe Rabeinu of our Dor!!
Instead of Yi'ush and adding more proof to the common malady of building a case against yourself, maybe Davka you are destined for greatness!? And all those people whom you admire and envy, since they are Rosh Yeshivos, or noteworthy Askanim, and those “holy” professional types, all those “put-together” נִ סָ חְ יַּ ים (people with Yichus), and all those popular “born successes”, and those super talented and famous: כֵ זַּ מְ הָ י בִ רַּ ים (people involved in Zikkui HaRabbim) are “nebachs” in your perception!
The fact that you keep struggling with learning, Ka'as, or Ta'ava; or you are suffering from a severe low self-image, can make you a Gadol HaDor in your area, and you can be considered equal to the greatest people! Especially since you continue despite a terrible dysfunctional background.
Don’t be Nis'pael! Not from your constant failures, and not from other people’s successes. Being Nis'pael is a kind of Yetzer Hara which Hashem supplies to everybody. It’s all a test in order to make you great. An open message: What we just wrote may give you lots of Chizuk. But if the Torah repeats the same identical story: הֵ ן אֲ נִּ י עֲ רַ ל שְׂ פָ תַ יִּ ם וְׂ אֵ יךְ יִּ שְׂ מַ ע אֵ לַ י פַ רְׂ עֹ ה ו ל “I can’t!”, then the Torah is telling us a message that needs to be repeated!
If you don’t constantly remind yourself, either by reading this again and again, or opening a Chumash and Chazzering (reviewing) this story a lot (or both), then you won’t get too far. This is called Limud HaMussar; when you keep repeating something that you know already, since it takes plenty of repetition to sink in.
“Envy is Ignorance”
Many of us feel that other people are more fortunate than they are. The truth is that usually envy is ignorance. But even if others are indeed more fortunate than us, the real truth is all their successes are worthless, since the only true success is having a Kesher with Hashem. Accepting every drop of my own situation, and being Sameach B’chelko, is the true connection with Hashem.
Appreciating your own unique Nisyonos and difficulties, no matter how bitter, as tailor-made for your Shleimus and working on Sameach B’chelko, will cause only good to come out of your situation.
True Story
Chaim Jones is one of those who had an unfortunate shady background. He’s always making mistakes, and forgetting and saying the wrong thing, coming late, etc. He walks around all day being too well-aware of his shortcomings. He was told that for him, Shviras HaMiddos is believing he’s good, and that he did the right thing, NO MATTER WHAT!
One morning, he needed to go to BMG to give an important letter to a Yungerman. The Yungerman told him that he’ll be in BMG until 8:30. But Chaim woke up late, and at 8:25 he was rushing out of the house, when suddenly.... his wife needed some help with the house.
Chaim was very stressed, since he had only a few minutes to play with. He told his wife “No!” and bolted out of the house! He came to BMG just before 8:30... but he missed the Yungerman. Many years ago, it may have been appropriate to say: “It’s my fault, as usual”. And: “If I had helped my wife, I would have had the Si'ata D'shmaya to come in time...”
In fact, being a true Y'rei Shamayim, he was also that type who blames himself for his Onesh (punishment), and this is why he was very depressed for many years. But these days, he has: הַ דְ רָ כָ ה guidance in positive thinking from his Rabbeim, and despite his strong negative feelings about himself, and his “missing the boat” as usual, he screamed out loud: “I DID THE RIGHT THING, AND I’M GOING TO COME OUT THE WINNER!”
He felt “zero” inside, and what he was saying made no sense to him at all. Yet, his Chinuch in positive lies had already become part of him. A second later, a car passed by him with the Yungerman waving to him... he opened his car window, and Chaim passed him the letter!
This story is an absolute goldmine, and I have to give this type of message to many people. My Rabbeim (albeit from a different generation) have encouraged me in insisting to promote this way of thinking, since this is called the true Shviras HaMiddos of our Dor.
