Suzy and Paul came in early to their mother’s bedroom. They said, “Happy Mother’s Day. Please don’t get up. As our treat to you, we’ll make breakfast.” Their mother was delighted, especially as the aroma of fried eggs and salami was wafting in. But after 20 minutes, the children hadn’t returned, so she went downstairs to investigate. And there they were, sitting at the table finishing off their breakfast. And there was nothing in the frying pan. She said, “Nu? What happened to my breakfast?” “We already told you,” replied Suzy. “That was our surprise for Mother’s Day. We made our own breakfast this morning!”
Noah's son walks into a kosher deli and orders a sandwich. "Sorry," said the owner. "We don't serve Ham."
A man walks into a Kosher Deli in New York City and steps up to the counter. "I would like zee bagel und lox please." He says in a heavy German accent. The man pays, sits down with his food, and is clearly enjoying it. When he's done he walks up to the counter again and says, "Zat vas amazing. I can't get food like zat back home." The guy behind the counter looks at him disapprovingly and says, "Now whose fault is that?"
Learn Chinese in 5 Minutes
Are you harbouring a fugitive? -- Hu Yu Hai Ding?
See me A.S.A.P. -- Kum Hia Nao
Stupid Man -- Dum Gai
Small Horse -- Tai Ni Po Ni
I bumped into a coffee table. -- Ai Bang Mai Ni
I think you need a facelift. -- Chin Tu Fat
It's very dark in here. -- Wai So Dim?
Has your flight been delayed? -- Hao Long Wei Ting?
That was an unauthorised execution. -- Lin Ching
I thought you were on a diet. -- Wai Yu Mun Ching?
