A young boy enters a barber shop, and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?"
The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!"
Brought to you by Uncle Benjy, author of Laughter is the best medicine: Kosher and Jewish jokes for the whole family, volumes one and two, and Jewish Joke Book for Kids, volumes one and two, available on Amazon.
A crossing guard
Yaakov bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to give away."
For three days, the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it.
He eventually decided that people were too untrusting of this deal. It looked too good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale, $50."
The next day, someone stole it.
Shloimy was fishing with a friend when he noticed the local game warden approaching. He quickly threw his fishing rod to the ground and began to run. When he was a good distance from the fishing spot, the game warden caught up with him. "Okay," shouted the game warden, "Where's your fishing license?" Shloimy hesitated for a moment, then reached for his wallet and pulled out his fishing license. The game warden scrutinized it carefully and saw that it was in order. "Say, why did you run from me? Your license is okay." Shloimy smiled innocently and explained, "But my friend's isn't!"
