By Rabbi Sholom DovBer Avtzon
During Chanukah I reached out to numerous people that I have contact with and tried to encourage them to continue their good deeds. One of them (whose real name is Avi) thanked me for the call and informed me about the progress of his oldest son, whose Bar Mitzvah was last year Chanukah. He proudly related that he has been reading the Torah every Shabbos afternoon by Mincha, so this week he has read every Parsha in the Torah until Sheini.
He then added every time his son reads the Torah, and every morning when the children run to yeshiva with a desire to learn, and Boruch Hashem they all are doing extremely well in their learning, I think it's all because of what happened between you and me on day of my wedding more than 16 years ago.
I used to visit him in his store almost every Friday afternoon on my mivtzoyim route, as a bochur and then I continued doing so for quite a few years after I was married.
When he informed me that he is engaged and getting married I spoke to him about the importance of placing Mezuzos on the doorways of his new apartment, as well as that it is time that he should have his own pair of Tefillin and begin putting them on every day.
He agreed to purchase Mezuzos for the apartment and then he asked me how much the Tefillin cost.
I told him that presently [meaning at that time], a kosher pair is around 450 dollars, however, I want him to buy a one that is a better quality.
He asked me if I could buy one that is Kosher for 450 dollars, why should I spend $200 more?
“How much are you spending on the flowers that are going to last only for one evening, I asked him? And how much are your family members going to spend on their shoes, suits, dresses and accessories which are going to be worn only once, I asked? You know that they're going to spend a lot more than $450 and even $650, and that's only for one evening. In fact, you have some very nice dresses in your store, why don’t they wear one of them? But the answer is simple, for the wedding you need a dress that is more than nice and beautiful.
“So, when we are discussing Tefillin that are supposed to last you for your entire life, and you will be using them tens of thousands of times, of course they should be something that you consider very valuable. If you're going to buy the cheapest pair, that means you're not considering it important, so you just want to put on the tefillin for that one day, just as you put them on one day a week, when we meet.
“You know what, if money is a problem, I'll save you even the $450. I will lend you my pair for that special day and you can use my tefillin.’
“After thinking it over, a week and a half before his wedding, he told me, you are right, and I should buy him the better (more mehudar) pair. However, he won't be in the store the following week, so I could mail it to him.
However, I decided that if I mail it, who knows if he will get around to put it on, so being that he gave me an invitation, I decided I am going to bring it to him on the day of the wedding to the hall.
The drive to the hall each way was over an hour and a half but being that it was a summer wedding I had time. So around five in the afternoon I got into my car and drove to the fancy hotel hall where the wedding was taking place. I arrived at the hotel at around 6:30 shortly before the reception was going to begin.
When Avi saw me walking in, he was astounded. The invitation was a courtesy, and he never expected me to show up, and he for sure didn't expect me to be coming just to bring him his new pair of tefillin that he should have it available for every day from now on.
Opening the bag, I pulled out the Tefillin and asked him to put them on, and say Shema and whatever other tefilla (prayer) he wishes to say before the Chuppa begins. To everyone's amazement he rolled up his sleeve, put on the Tefillin and davened his Tefilla. Being that he did so, his father and father-in-law did so as well.
Then he emotionally said, Sholom, "By driving from Brooklyn all the way here, you showed me how important Tefillin is, therefore, I will begin putting them on every day. That changed his life. Once he began putting tallis and tefillin on at home before going to work, his wife, who was raised in a much more traditional Sephardic home, encouraged him to stop going to the store on Shabbos, because we have to give the children that Hashem will bless us with, a clear message of what Judaism is and he did so.
Going back to our conversation on Chanukah, after wishing him a freilichen Chanukah, I asked him how everything is going. He proudly replied, my oldest son became Bar Mitzvah last Channukah, and every Shabbos by Mincha, he reads the beginning of the next weeks parsha. So this Shabbos, he completed reading the beginning of each Parsha of the Torah. Sholom, you don't know how much happiness our children give us every day, from that and from their enthusiasm in Yiddishkeit. They are eager to go to yeshiva, and are Boruch Hashem getting excellent marks. Every day I thank Hashem for this this amazing Brocha He gives us, and it all came about because you brought me the pair of Tefillin to my wedding. That showed me how important a Mitzvah is!
Hearing this got me thinking. Very often when I and probably many of you hear the [Lubavitcher] Rebbe’s words to add on an additional light, do another mitzvah, we think the message is. We should give more tzedoka, say an additional chapter of Tehillim, learn for a longer period of time, etc. In other words, we think in the prism of quantity.
But Avi was telling me, that quantity is not always the solution, it is the quality in which it is done that often makes a stronger impression. I came to him almost every Friday for a few years. While he always willingly put on Tefillin, that didn’t impress him, but when I went out of my way to bring him his new pair, that inspired him to realize that Tefillin means a
Reprinted from the Parshas Vayigash 5786 email of Rabbi Sholom Avtzon’s – The Weekly Story” based on the inspiration of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, zt”l.
