STORY
A friend of mine was a Baal Teshuva, and he was friendly with the Bobover Chasidim in Crown Heights, about 40 -50 years ago. He grew a beard, and he was proud to feel like one of the Chasidim. One day his parents “let him have it”, and they forced him to take off his beard.
The next Shabbos, he came to the Rebbe’s Tisch embarrassed. The Rebbe, R' Shlomo Halberstam Zatzal, was an unusual Tzaddik, and much beloved by everyone. He was full of Simcha and love and Ahavas Yisroel. He realized the problem, and in front of all the Chasidim he yelled out: “This Bachur still has a beard!”
I would even say he has two beards, or 10 or 100, according to Chazal who say: לְפוּם צַעֲרָּא אַגְרָּא אבות ה כב the reward increases according to your effort. This idea is true in all areas. A friend of mine went to see a famous Admor in Yerushalayim, and the Admor told him that he sees on him that he has no Ka'as. This Admor was considered a Baal Ruach HaKodesh, who could see through a person. This person told me that it simply wasn’t true. He had plenty anger inside him, and could blow his fuse here and there. I told him that the Admor was 100% right, since this person came from a very difficult home where: עַ ל שְלשָּה דְ בָּ רִּ ים הַ בַ יִּ ת עוֹמֵ ד, עַ ל הַ כַ עַ ס, עַ ל הַ כַ עַ ס, וְ עַ ל הַ כַ עַ ס the whole foundation of the house was built on Ka'as.
Both of his parents and all his siblings were loaded with anger, but he worked hard on himself, and compared to his past, he was gold. It is quite possible that this person is much greater than the most Chashuva: סַ בְ לָ נִ ים people who don’t get upset, since they never had his background.
He is the real Savlan (person who doesn’t get upset) who may be considered: נָּ קִּ י וְ טָּ הוֹר clean and pure, since everything is relative. The Arizal told R' Chaim Vital Zatzal tremendous Maalos about himself that didn’t seem to make sense, and he explained to him that everything is relative to the Dor and the circumstances, etc. People need to be aware of this basic logical Yesod, or else they can spend a lifetime of “self-persecution”, wanting to become what isn’t expected from them, and envying people whom they feel are superior to them, when the truth is the opposite!
I know two Yungerleit who are far from perfect. One is full of Ka'as and Lashon Hara, and the other in the area of Ta'avos. Yet, after Yom Tov, I noticed their faces glowing like they were the biggest Tzaddikim. This doesn’t reconcile their Chesronos, and doesn’t excuse Aveiros, Chas V’shalom. But according to: סְ בָּ רָּ ה logic it makes sense that Hashem should make them special, since they are both big Ovdei Hashem and try hard to improve.
