A Limit to Self-Analysis
Constant introspection and self-analysis about mood and health must end; Introspection which causes depression comes from wrong place; shidduch requires wholehearted approach, not endless calculations.
By the Grace of G-d
18th of Kislev, 5724
Brooklyn, N. Y.
Rabbi...
Greeting and Blessing:
I received your letter of the 15th of Kislev, as well as your previous correspondence.
You write that I have not replied to your previous letters. The reason for this is that there was nothing particular in them that required a reply to which I have not already replied before on several occasions, including during our personal conversation. I regret, however, that apparently you have not accepted my suggestions.
However, inasmuch as our Sages say “Even 100 times”, I will repeat again the essential point. It is that you should put an end to your constant introspection and self analysis as to what is your mood, and how is your health, etc. And, although generally speaking introspection is recommended, as our Sages say “Reflect on three things, etc.”, and a person is expected to keep a check on his thoughts, words and actions, it is obvious that if such introspection has the wrong effect, namely bringing about depression and lack of vitality and joy in the service of G-d, it does not come from the Yetzer Tov, but from the other side. I suggest that you study in the Tanya the passages dealing with the subject of the negation of Atzvus and the importance of cultivating Simcha, as can be found in the index at the end of the book.
With regard to your question relating to a Shidduch, I have also repeatedly advised you to fulfill what is written in the Torah, namely Tomim tiheye, to be wholehearted and straightforward. For a Shidduch is not a matter of endless calculations and playful speculations. And, while one should, of course, not approach the matter of a Shidduch with closed eyes, one should remember that the important quality to look for in a wife is that she should be G-d fearing and observant of the Torah and Mitzvoth. All other qualities are only secondary, but it very often happens that when this essential quality is present, the secondary qualities are also present.
May G-d grant that, at any rate from now on, my words should find their proper response in your heart, although I have already given them to you orally. But, perhaps the fact that you will get them also in writing will serve a good purpose, inasmuch as you can refer to it from time to time.
At this time, Erev Yud-Tes Kislev, the liberation day of the Old Rebbe, author of the Tanya and Shulchan Aruch, and founder of Chabad, whose 150th Yahrzeit Anniversary we are observing this year. I want to express the hope that the remembrance of this significant day will be a source of inspiration to you and every one of us.
Wishing you also a happy Chanukah
With blessing
M. Schneerson
